I know what you are thinking. 2 Things: "Geez, her cat is fat." Yeah, I know. As stated before, she's on a strict diet of metered out kitty food and ... well, table scraps. She has a penchant for whipped cream and parmesan cheese. And the other thing: "That is the cutest, most snuggly-looking kitty On The Planet." Right, lemme tell you something about cute.
"Cute" gets up at 5am everyday of the week and demands to be fed RIGHT NOW. I know you moms out there are just rolling your eyes and saying "whatever, try dealing with a newborn", but hear me out. Does Baby stand right next to you in bed, lay her paw on your forehead, slowly and steadily sinking her claws into your flesh until you open your eyes? Yeah, thought not. When I attempt to cover my head with a pillow and ignore Cute, then the real party begins.
First she starts by standing on the night stand and strategically knocking things off. Oops, where those your glasses? Oh, was that the paper back you were reading -- hope you weren't saving that page! If these attempts fail, she alternates using the electrical cords next to my bed as a punching bag or a chew toy. Adorable.
Her last straw is the Body Slam. We have a full-length mirror in our bedroom that Precious will run at full speed and then slam her body against. This is usually the last straw that gets me up. However, on the occasion when all else fails, she just begins her routine all over again: Nightstand Knock-Off, Claw Paw In-Yo-Face , Electical Cord Boxing and Mirror Slam.
Aside from all of that, I think the thing that bothers me the most is that she NEVER tries any of this with Mitch. Saves all the fun for me. Cute, right?