Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Help Yourself

I am the (not-so-proud) owner of a plethora of self-help books. How to Win Friends and Influence People (I have the book AND the tape. My popularity rating has yet to skyrocket). How to Tame Your Tongue and Stop Gossiping (Life without gossip is like a twinkie without the filling. Empty and tasteless.) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (but go ahead and wig out over the Big Stuff...?) And, of course, the classic: Chicken Soup for the Friendless, Gossipy, Sweaty Soul. While a majority of these books were Christmas presents (um, thanks...?), I do have a penchant for buying said books. That's buying. Not necessarily reading.

Well, I take that back. I often start one of these gems, get distracted by a much more enticing fictional book with a shiny cover and smaller words, and drop the self help book like something small that I sweated. But not this time. This time, I am bound like a book and as determined as a gopher with a machine gun (scroll down) to finish my new book of self-helperness. It's all about changing your mood by changing your thoughts. So, the other morning, I began trying it out.

When I walked outside the other chilly morning, I knew it would take several minutes for my car to defrost. Usually, the wait makes me anxious and annoyed. This time, I decided to start up the car and make the most of my outdoor time. I shot some frosty photos. Picked up some sticks in the yard...and noticed some little things. Like how the branches had patterns that reminded me of the frost in the photos which inspired these Stick Flakes.

Yeah, yeah, I know, they look a little too much like these things (It's Beginning to Look a lot like a Blair Witch Project, Everywhere You Go...), but it elevated my mood nonetheless. Hopefully, I'll see this book through to the end.

On a different note, have you ever sampled a fart? Yes, you heard me correctly: A Fart. And, how would you describe the taste? Bitter, perhaps...?

Apparently, the Germans would too...and the sampling of such is an Art of some sort. I was packaging up this chocolate for a friend and almost fell out when reading the label. It reminded me of hearing the German language whilst in Germany. I swore I heard "ClaudiaSugarBungalow" and "NutsPumpin" and "BagelGopher". When I got home, I googled all of these words and only managed to come up with the Gun-Totin'-Gopher. Does he use bagels as target practice? If he runs out, I may have a coupla self-help books he can use.


  1. Funny, Funny girl!! I love the snowflakes, they are so wonderful!! My son would love the German Fart chocolate!!

  2. You put together these stick flakes and took pics of them while waiting for your car to warm up? You're talented. And funny.

    I like your little pipe smokin' guy.

  3. you're hilarious, and my favorite. i love you and these genius stick snowflakes.

  4. Anonymous6/05/2012

    This is not an "F", it's a "Z"! hahaha! ZART = gentle, tender ... Zartbitter means 60% to 80% Dark Chocolate. :) Florentiner Art means Florence Style (Italian, with Nuts & dried, candied fruits).
    We don't eat Chocolate Farts :D

    1. Ah, thank goodness! I would hate to smell the breath of a chocolate fart eater ;) Thank you for your funny comments and for reading my silliness! ...Cassie


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