Sunday, December 27, 2009

Recipe for a Redneck Christmas




   The stuff of Redneck dreams...

Recipe for a Redneck Christmas:
(Aka Let's Set Some Stuff on Fire!)

Prep Time:  Approximately 85 minutes and $217 spent at a fireworks outlet.
45 minutes at Walmart selecting flamable fluids (hand sanitizer, who knew?!) and Gingerbread Trailer supplies.
 

I wasn't able to get the entire logo in the photo...it said "Live Free, Burn Sh**"

Ingredients: 
 Um, fireworks... 



Hey, Maw, we's outta toilet paper! 
Pick me up some Loud & Lavender when yer at th' Winn Dixie, w'd ya?

Oh, wait, better make that Loud and Nasty...I did have pork 'n' beans fer dinner...
Who names these fireworks, anyway? They're made in China, so some things get lost in translation. I mean, "shoots flaming balls"? I think it's time to bring in an editor.

Additional ingredients:
Some gifties for under the tree...






Directions:  1. Lay out all the goods.

2. Assemble Gingerbread Trailers.


3. Take a Beef Jerky Break.

4. BLOW UP DEM TRAILERS!



4. Hot Dogs Roasting on an Open Fire...
And feeding the homeless...



5. Most importantly, SET STUFF ON FIRE!


Seriously, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. And I want to publicly apologize to the residents of Chelsea, AL as well as their police force that made more than one slow drive by...

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad you had such a fun Redneck Christmas! I would love some of those makin bacon cups!

    ReplyDelete

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