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| Many moons ago, a buddy gave me a big ole bag of junk jewelry. Most of it I crafted into Bedazzled Bobbie Pins but this oval pin/necklace blank was left untouched. When I found it while riffling through, what's known in this house as, the Hoarder Room, I decided to use it for my latest car craft. |
Hubs and I are just back from a recent trip to Birmingham (that'd be Alabama, not England, fyi) where we spent time with the fam. It's a good three hour road trip, so I decided to take along an embroidery craft to pass the time. Stitching a little floral motif for this brooch blank seemed like the perfect car-aftivity (that'd be car-and-craft, Bradgelina'ized).
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| The benefits of having a Hoarder Room: I also had the perfect necklace for my pendant. My moms-in-law gave it to me a while back and it's a perfect fit. |
But before I get into all that, I gotta tell you about a lil incident that happened during our visit. My moms-in-law was complaining of an ear ache and I was just convinced that there was a monstrous mountain of ear wax in her ear. Bee-cuz that's totally what was housed in my canals recently. Not wanting to freak her out, I gave her the low-cal version of the story. But for you, I'm presenting the Chock-Full-of-Calories, High-Fructose, Carb-Overload version. You can thank me later, gator.
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| What my lap looks like on our car rides. I know, the scissors, ack! Not wanting to see me impaled, hubs requests that I keep 'em in the cute lil craft cubbie that's built into the door of the passenger side. |
So, I had this
problem where I couldn't hear for the life of me and I had a sinking
suspicion that there were alien-baby-sized balls of ear wax lodged in my
ear canal. Sure enough when the doc stuck his little
magnifying-glass/miniature-flash-light thingie in my ear, and I gave a
meek little, "do you see anything...?", he sucked in his breath and
shouted, "NURSES! Get in here, you've gotta see the size of this
thing!" After each and every nurse, intern, secretary and lawn mowin'
dude (who they convinced to come inside after beating on the window and
making wild alien-baby-ear-wax gestures) had witnessed the freak show, I
hear the doc say, "NURSES! Bring in that new instrument." Which, by the way, are words you never wanna hear.
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| Instead of 'splainin' my stitches to you, I thought I'd just share with you the directions from the vintage embroidery book I used. |
Okay, ya'll, get
ready. Because the instrument those nurses brought in was a sight to
behold. Imagine, if you will, a long, slightly phallic, clear shaped instrument with
lights illuminating the length of it. Now imagine the thought of said
instrument penetrating, for lack of a better term, your EAR. The first words outta my mouth?
"Is that some sort of Alien Anal Probe?!"
Which was met with no response.
Thinking that, perhaps, they were the ones with the wax buildup and therefore couldn't hear me, I repeated myself:
"I said, IS THAT AN ALIEN ANAL PROBE?! Please, for the love of all things, lubricate that thing!"
The
last thing I remember was the doc saying, "NURSES! Hold her head!"
while my poor ear canal was taken advantage off. I do remember
screaming, "Ouch, you've hit brain!" a coupla times before ole
doc extracted the largest wad of wax known to man. After the nurses
swaddled the thing and I named it George Michael, I repeated my alien-anal-probe inquiry one more time which was met with a "please pay the secretary
as you exit."
Needless to say, I didn't tell my mom's-in-law that. She got the Disney version which ended with me being able to hear so well that I heard birds chirping in the Amazon and monkeys making monkey love in Africa. Well, okay, I didn't exactly tell her that either.
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| Don't have a Hoarder Room full of pendant blanks? No worries, I did a lil homework for you and found blanks a plenty on etsy. Check out this wee shop. |
After a trip to the 'bama doctor, looks like my mom's-in-law was actually suffering from a lil cold not a case of ear wax'itis. Some folk get off easy, I guess. No lil ear wax George Michael baby for her.
But, really, gnarly stories of ear wax is probably not why you dropped by this here blog today...or was it? Regardless, let's get back to the DIY at hand, shall we? Once I was finished with this little piece, I cut a small piece of cardboard to size and glued the embroidery to it. That was then glued inside the pendant. Wow, did I just explain this DIY in 150 words or less? And to think you had to suffer through all that other nonsense. Sucks to be you.
Hey, you embroiderers in the house, how do you store your floss? Until yesterday, I kept mine stuffed in a jar. Which meant I had to dump out the contents each time I looked for another color. Which the cat took as an invitation to start devouring strands of floss. Which is totally bad for kitty and makes for some seriously slimy floss. Ewww. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yes, storage. When I came across this old spice rack at the thrift store, I thought it'd solve my problems. Well, one of 'em anyway. I painted the top of the rack black before hanging it (it was a little gnarly looking) and it's found a home on my sewing room wall.
Which looks a little like this. I've recently decluttered the crap outta this room (which you'd never know with one glance at the reflection in that mirror!) and thought I'd perhaps give you a little tour in the future...assuming you'd be interested. Well, would ya? I'll show you where I keep my jar of ear wax! If you ask nicely.
Wow. I just called this a DIY post and hardly spoke of said DIY. Eh, you get the idea. You don't really come here for the education. I'm not sure why you come here (and I'm guessing you aren't either) but I do appreciate you stopping by! Now, go get those ears checked! And, if you're so inclined, you can check out more of my embroidery madness here, here, here, here, and here.
