DIY Car Crafts: An Embroidered Necklace

Many moons ago, a buddy gave me a big ole bag of junk jewelry. Most of it I crafted into Bedazzled Bobbie Pins but this oval pin/necklace blank was left untouched. When I found it while riffling through, what's known in this house as, the Hoarder Room, I decided to use it for my latest car craft.

Hubs and I are just back from a recent trip to Birmingham (that'd be Alabama, not England, fyi) where we spent time with the fam. It's a good three hour road trip, so I decided to take along an embroidery craft to pass the time. Stitching a little floral motif for this brooch blank seemed like the perfect car-aftivity (that'd be car-and-craft, Bradgelina'ized).

The benefits of having a Hoarder Room: I also had the perfect necklace for my pendant. My moms-in-law gave it to me a while back and it's a perfect fit.

But before I get into all that, I gotta tell you about a lil incident that happened during our visit. My moms-in-law was complaining of an ear ache and I was just convinced that there was a monstrous mountain of ear wax in her ear. Bee-cuz that's totally what was housed in my canals recently. Not wanting to freak her out, I gave her the low-cal version of the story. But for you, I'm presenting the Chock-Full-of-Calories, High-Fructose, Carb-Overload version. You can thank me later, gator.

What my lap looks like on our car rides. I know, the scissors, ack! Not wanting to see me impaled, hubs requests that I keep 'em in the cute lil craft cubbie that's built into the door of the passenger side.

So, I had this problem where I couldn't hear for the life of me and I had a sinking suspicion that there were alien-baby-sized balls of ear wax lodged in my ear canal. Sure enough when the doc stuck his little magnifying-glass/miniature-flash-light thingie in my ear, and I gave a meek little, "do you see anything...?", he sucked in his breath and shouted, "NURSES! Get in here, you've gotta see the size of this thing!" After each and every nurse, intern, secretary and lawn mowin' dude (who they convinced to come inside after beating on the window and making wild alien-baby-ear-wax gestures) had witnessed the freak show, I hear the doc say, "NURSES! Bring in that new instrument." Which, by the way, are words you never wanna hear.

Instead of 'splainin' my stitches to you, I thought I'd just share with you the directions from the vintage embroidery book I used.

Okay, ya'll, get ready. Because the instrument those nurses brought in was a sight to behold. Imagine, if you will, a long, slightly phallic, clear shaped instrument with lights illuminating the length of it. Now imagine the thought of said instrument penetrating, for lack of a better term, your EAR. The first words outta my mouth? 

"Is that some sort of Alien Anal Probe?!" 

Which was met with no response. 

Thinking that, perhaps, they were the ones with the wax buildup and therefore couldn't hear me, I repeated myself:

"I said, IS THAT AN ALIEN ANAL PROBE?! Please, for the love of all things, lubricate that thing!"

The last thing I remember was the doc saying, "NURSES! Hold her head!" while my poor ear canal was taken advantage off. I do remember screaming, "Ouch, you've hit brain!" a coupla times before ole doc extracted the largest wad of wax known to man. After the nurses swaddled the thing and I named it George Michael, I repeated my alien-anal-probe inquiry one more time which was met with a "please pay the secretary as you exit." 

Needless to say, I didn't tell my mom's-in-law that. She got the Disney version which ended with me being able to hear so well that I heard birds chirping in the Amazon and monkeys making monkey love in Africa. Well, okay, I didn't exactly tell her that either.

Don't have a Hoarder Room full of pendant blanks? No worries, I did a lil homework for you and found blanks a plenty on etsy. Check out this wee shop.

After a trip to the 'bama doctor, looks like my mom's-in-law was actually suffering from a lil cold not a case of ear wax'itis. Some folk get off easy, I guess. No lil ear wax George Michael baby for her.

But, really, gnarly stories of ear wax is probably not why you dropped by this here blog today...or was it? Regardless, let's get back to the DIY at hand, shall we? Once I was finished with this little piece, I cut a small piece of cardboard to size and glued the embroidery to it. That was then glued inside the pendant. Wow, did I just explain this DIY in 150 words or less? And to think you had to suffer through all that other nonsense. Sucks to be you.

Hey, you embroiderers in the house, how do you store your floss? Until yesterday, I kept mine stuffed in a jar. Which meant I had to dump out the contents each time I looked for another color. Which the cat took as an invitation to start devouring strands of floss. Which is totally bad for kitty and makes for some seriously slimy floss. Ewww. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yes, storage. When I came across this old spice rack at the thrift store, I thought it'd solve my problems. Well, one of 'em anyway. I painted the top of the rack black before hanging it (it was a little gnarly looking) and it's found a home on my sewing room wall.

Which looks a little like this. I've recently decluttered the crap outta this room (which you'd never know with one glance at the reflection in that mirror!) and thought I'd perhaps give you a little tour in the future...assuming you'd be interested. Well, would ya? I'll show you where I keep my jar of ear wax! If you ask nicely.

Wow. I just called this a DIY post and hardly spoke of said DIY. Eh, you get the idea. You don't really come here for the education. I'm not sure why you come here (and I'm guessing you aren't either) but I do appreciate you stopping by! Now, go get those ears checked! And, if you're so inclined, you can check out more of my embroidery madness here, here, here, here, and here.

Read more »

(Flower) Pothead

Oh, hey neighbor. Yeah, I'm taking pictures. Of myself. With a tripod in the front yard. What? These America's Next Top Model photos ain't gonna take themselves.

It's spring and I've officially become a Flower Pothead. I've spent hours on flowers: planting, painting, wearing, embroidering and decorating with them. This spring thing better stick around because I'm in deep. I thought I'd share with you just a bit of the flowery fantasticness I've gotten myself into:

Flowers in my Hair: Saw Casey wearing flowers in her hair on a recent post and just had to do the same. Mine are fake flowers purchased at JoAnn's hot glued to a hairclip.

Flowers in my Patterns: We dropped in my favorite vintage shop in Orlando, Paris Market Vintage, where I swooped up this sweet 1970's era skirt for a mere $4. If you are ever in the area, it's a great shop with the sweetest ladies working there.

Flowers on my Doorstep: I took these $10 plastic flower pots, turquoise spray paint and cheap acrylic paint and did 'em up Bob Ross style last year. They've sat outside all year with very little wear. I decided to try trailing petunias in the pots this year. I'll share with you how I painted these pots in an upcoming post.

Flowers on my Hoop: My embroidery hoop, that is. I managed to make some headway on our recent trip. I'm about half way finished now...you'll have to wait and see the result when it's complete. It might be a while.

Flowers in my Foyer: I don't care that they might be weeds, they are flowery just the same.

Flowers in Miniature Bottles: Hubs came home from a recent adventure with a sack full of these miniature jars. He'd been off-trail hiking and stumbled upon a cache of vintage trash. Such a great find, don't you think?

Flowers in the Sunshine: Nuff said. Hope things are coming up roses where you are!

Read more »

DIY: Conquering the Dynasty Dress

At the Hollywood Drive-In Golf at Universal Studios. I loved their putt putt courses which were based on 1950's B-movies. This one was called The Haunting of Ghostly Green.

While in Memphis last weekend, I was taken to a gem of a place called Park Avenue Thrift. And while it was far from being even remotely Park Avenue-esque, we did make a new friend (one whom attempted to try on her size 20 bathing suit over her clothes, asked us what we thought and paid the cashier with a wad of wet cash brandished from her bra). I also found this lovely floral dress.

Before hacking into the dress, I thought I'd give it one last hurrah in all of it's shoulder-pad, big-hair-with-bow, blue-eye-shadow, and-pointy-shoe glory.

As soon as I slipped the dress on, I immediately had images of Dynasty pop into my head. The shoulder pads were mammoth. It's no wonder we did our hair up so big in the eighties. If we didn't, we'd look like a shrunken head between those pillow-sized pads.

As a kid, my cousin, my aunt and I used to watch Dynasty, Falcon Crest and Dallas curled up with my grandma in her bed. The plot was over our heads so we usually had our noses stuck in some Sweet Valley High book.

More pictures from the putt putt. I've not putt putted in ages and we had so much fun. If you've not been lately, I say go.

So, here's a breakdown of how I conquered the Dynasty Dress:

• Removal of shoulder pads. But I didn't trash them. They'll come back in style someday, right?
• Removal of 8" from the hemline. I mean really. It was like a floral parachute.
• Addition of yellow scalloped collar. Seen best in the final photo.
• Removal of belt. I love it, but you can't see it. So I am wearing my bow belt instead.
• Addition of matching sandals. I used the excess fabric to create the straps for my Sseko sandals. If you are not familiar with Sseko, you might want to check them out.

Another show we watched with grandma as kids. I always thought of my grandma as being like Dixie Carter's Julie Sugarbaker. Doesn't Charlene look like she's wearing my floral dress?

It's not the biggest dress overhaul but this one didn't really need it. I was sold on the full skirt, the floral and the pockets. It just needed some de-eighties-izing.

Dynasty Dress, consider yourself conquered, bwahaha.

When I asked hubs what he thought of the end result, he said, "It's nice. It looks like an Easter dress. That's the look you were going for, right?"

Erm, yeah. And that's the last time I let him win at putt putt. Enjoy your weekend!

Read more »

DIY: Lovey Dovey

My completed yarn-wrapped heart now hangs over the mirror in my foyer. I hate that word, foyer. Makes me sound so fancy. But it sounds better than "front entrance" which is what I initially typed.

I am not, nor have I ever been, and I predict I won't ever be, sappy. When I lose my Burt's Bees, I become chappy; with a tiny amount of wine, I am slaphappy; and my middle-aged lady arms are starting to look flappy; but sappy is not a word that would describe me. Lovey-dovey, mushy, huggy-kissy sweet stuff kinda makes my skin craw, my eyes roll toward the back of my head and my finger make a gagging motion down my throat.

Supplies: Styrofoam heart and pink yarn: Hobby Lobby; baker's twine: Anthopologie, last Christmas; buttons and paper measuring tape: from my stash; vintage photos: from my mom

However, this is not all my fault. I inherited the unsappy gene from my mother. Case in point: If I tell her I lover her, more often than not, I'm greeted with a "whatever." It's just not in us to give a sap. 

So it's kinda funny that I decided to spruce up the pad for Valentine's Day. Honestly, it's because I had so much fun decorating for Christmas, that I didn't want to stop. Never mind that the floors haven't been swept in years and that the laundry is a 6' mountain of funky smells, look! I made a yarn wrapped heart!

Are they not the cutest? My mom brought me a stash of old family photos, some of people neither of us knew. Doesn't it look like he's tickling her ear and she's trying to stop him? I wonder where they are now.

And it was really easy to make. If you've been on pinterest for a millisecond, you've seen yarn-wrapped wreaths. I made one at Christmas...but this one was a wee bit trickier because of the points in the heart. If you've never tried it before, here's how I went about it: tie yarn around styro wreath and wrap yarn around it. That's it! When I came to the points in the heart, I plugged in my hot glue gun and glued in strips of yarn to fill in the gaps. It's really the easiest and most mundane craft ever. 

Another nunno-who-they-are photo from my collection. I love how she's on her tiptoes in her sweet loafers...and is he coping a feel?

When I was finished with that, the fuschia heart was rather boring. So I decided to add some blue striped  baker's twine which I double knotted in the back. I backed the photos onto matte board and hot glued the board to the frame so as not to ruin the photos. The vintage buttons were hot glued on as well. I had initially used a black ribbon to hang the heart but it seemed too domineering. I swapped it out for the paper measuring tape. In all, it looks pretty crafty, but that's okay by me. It'll do for the month of Feb.

Right under the yarn-wrapped-heart mirror in the foyer is a little table with this display. My collection of vintage children's books comes from the throw-away pile at in my school's library.

These little cupid houses have actually been up since Christmas. As if you couldn't tell. I've decided that the hearts on top of them mean I can leave them out just a pinch longer. Again, this idea was pulled from pinterest.

If you have access to clay and a kiln, here's how I created these: for the trunk, place a texture down on your table. I used a large stamp that had a wood grain design. Place the clay on top of the stamp and flatten it with a rolling pin. Remove clay from stamp and roll into a tube shape. For the roof, lay a different textured surface onto your workspace. I like to use vintage lace. Repeat the step of flattening the clay. Now, instead of forming a tube, roll clay into a waffle cone shape. Slip and score to the top. Add details and, viola! A house for cupid!

My Valentine garland. The easiest craft ever.

This is the last of my Valentine's decor, I swear. If I do anymore, my anti-sap status is sure to drop greatly. This here Valentine's garland was the easiest to make. My school has one of the Edison die cut thingies. I die cut some of my scrap booking paper (picked up a JoAnn's)  that I thought might compliment the colors of my living room. Which, as you can see, is just black and white. Easy to match.

If you've never sewn before, this is the project for you. When I got my first sewing machine about 6 years ago, I started by sewing paper. There's no fear in "messing up" and ruining expensive fabric. For this, I just pushed the heart through the machine. To make the blank space, I just continued to pull the heart so the machine would keep intertwining the two threads. Once the space was long enough, I fed the bird through the machine. Simple, right?

So, there you go. Valentine's decor for the un-Lovey Dovey set. I keep thinking to the next holiday I can decorate for...which is St. Patrick's Day, I believe. Nothing is coming to mind. Except to leave my little clay houses out just one more holiday and call 'em Leprechan Houses. That'll work, right?

Read more »