This week, I thought I'd chat about how to do something you'd think is basic but is actually pretty stinkin' tough: speaking your mind. It's one thing to do it...and it's another thing to speak your mind in such a way that folks are open enough to listen. Even if your opinion isn't a popular one. Here are my suggestions:
* You can say anything, ANY-STINKIN'-THANG, if you just choose your words wisely. It's funny, I'm super duper non-confrontational but have noticed of late that if I don't speak my mind (nicely) and stand up for myself (calmly) no one else will. It's time to wo-man up and say what needs to be said...in a way that will be listened to.
* Speak with your end goal in mind. This is directly from my extremely wise husband. Do you want your end goal to be that folks pause, listen to what you have to say and give it some thought? Of course you do! So don't offend them with your words. Use words that will get you to your end goal: a conversation.
* Say it with flowers. Does anyone else remember that old ad? I'm not saying send folks flowers, I'm just saying use words that are pretty and smell good not ones that stink and are offensive. Put yourself on the receiving end. Is that a bouquet of words you'd wanna hear?
* Start with "I feel..." No one can argue with your feelings. Unless you are irrational and crazy. In which case they will just say, "well, she is irrational and crazy, so it would make sense she feels that way..." Be honest without don't be a drama queen.
* Don't yuck someone's yum. This is a direct quote from my buddy Patty Palmer. I love it so. Say what you need to say but don't yuck someone's yum while doing so.
Sigh. If only doing such was this easy, right? Practice makes us better, y'all. I find that being honest with your feelings and open enough to listen to other side of any conversation is the very best way to go. Love y'all!
So no rants? ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome Cassie!
Haha! No, I save the rants for the hubs ;)
DeleteI will never forget that conversation with Patty. Sooooo true! Words from wise Ellie!
ReplyDeleteI remember it too!
DeleteYes! Not only in professional and collegial terms it's important, but personally choosing my words carefully has kept my family from splintering apart.Keeping the end goal in mind has kept me from losing my shinola with my brother when it came time to put my parents in a memory care facility...my niece asked me how I could be so nice to him after he said such awful things about me and I said that my end goal was to have them in a safe place, not to tell my brother exactly what I thought about him. VERY challenging at times. Words to live by.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely! I agree. It is hard to focus when there are things you REALLY want to say...but that would not have done you any good. You are wise to stick with your kind goal. :)
DeleteThank you Cassie. Enjoy your waffles.
ReplyDeleteI always do!! Love the pecan ones, yummers!
DeleteRight on, Cassie! Have a biscuit with butter and honey!
ReplyDeleteI had two! :)
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