What the Art Teacher Wore #67

Sunny Yellow Monday: So I've been hitting the local hardware/plant place recently (because as a serial flower killer, I find it a sound investment) and I've noticed something: there's a lot of old dudes workin' there. And, it turns out, old dudes are fascinated by retro-dressin' chics. Not in a creepy "I'll-show-you-where-the-tools-are,-honey,-heh-heh" kind of way. More like an "aw-my-mother/girlfriend/wife-used-to-dress-like-you,-heh-heh" (sorry, in my mind, all old dudes end their sentences that way). Which kinda makes me wonder...in twenty years when the "retro" look means wearing a vintage Hooters uniform, will the old dudes be like, "Aw, I remember when classy ladies used to wear thick-a** nylons under their construction-worker-orange shorty shorts, heh-heh" and then off they'll go to satisfy their sudden and unexpected wings craving? dress: vintage Swirl dress, picked up in St. Louis; shoes: Target, last summer; giant flower: just a fake one I glued to a clip after I changed out of my Hooters uniform

Hi! I'll have you know that since last chatting with you, no one has been sliced, diced or tampon'ed. Aw, don't look disappointed. I've got a month and a half left of summer vacation. I'm almost positive I'll be short a limb by the time I return (geez, if that really does happen then this will suddenly become The Most Awkward Post Ever. And we shall never speak of it again.)

So I thought I'd change it up a bit and share with you random photos from my week. I don't have Instagram but I do have A-Day-Or-Two-Later-Cam. Which is even better because I don't have to look at that amazing vintage find of yours or that totally stunning bouquet of flowers your boyfriend gave you (both of which I am sharing here. You're welcome). I've got a couple new DIY's coming up this week so make sure to pop back in and say hello (I've been hearing a lot from you lately and it totally makes my day!). And the next time you're ordering the wings at Hooters, tell 'em Cassie sent ya!

My amazing bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend. Who happens to be in kindergarten. But whateves, he's got good taste in the ladies and the orchids, so I'll take him.

Slice and Dice Tuesday: So if you've not heard the ridiculous story of my foot injury, go here. It's worth the read because it will totally enlighten you on the thinking of the dimwitted. Added bonus: you'll feel better about yourself and your obviously advanced intelligence. dress: made by me; shoes: ugh, Crocs.

Oh, lookie, a sneak peak. I started working on a new painting for the kitchen that I can't wait to finish off, hang up and share with you. It's very paint-by-numbers with out the numbers. Because they confuse me.

Wednesday, Unlimited: You'll never guess in a million years where I got this dress. The Limited. Yes, seriously. When's the last time you went to The Limited? For me, I believe it was back in '91 and I picked up a pair of Madonna-style trousers (you know the ones she paired with her bullet bra back in the Vogue days. I opted out of said bullet bra. Not enough ammo to fill it). My teacher neighbor at school, who always looks adorable, recently shared a photo of herself wearing the cutest dress. When I jokingly (sorta) said I was going to break into her house in the middle of the night and steal that dress (I was giving fair warning, I don't know what the problem was), she quickly informed me that she got the dress at The Limited. I immediately zipped over, found the dress and scooped up this one as well. So, where's the so-good-Ima-gonna-attempt-burglary-and-possible-jail-time dress? I'll show ya next week.

Can you freakin' believe this fabric?! Dude, I am so excited. I've got big plans to create what I imagine will be the most perfect pair of barbeque dresses even though hubs and I don't barbeque nor do we ever get invited to such things. Because vegetarians at barbeques suck. Regardless, I have a feeling these dresses, once created, will be more than welcome. Even if the dress is all, "Yeah, sorry about the person in the dress. She demanded to come," eye roll and sigh.

Hello, Neighbor, Thursday: You know, getting a photo of what you wear everyday is taxing. Especially when you attempt to do it in your front yard and the neighbors, who already think you are nutz, see you. But I do it for you. Now that's dedication, people. sweater: Target, old; dress: vintage, The Hip Zipper

Whatcha see here is my recent estate sale loot. It's become my Friday ritual to grab a buddy and hit as many sales as possible before noon. My favorite score of the day are those little doll dresses and that hand-knitted Anthropologie-esque sweater. Or maybe it's those mini-leather gloves. Possibly that dress with the blue daisies?...I just can't decide.

Free Tree Friday: Before I get to the tree, can we have a moment's chat about this dress? Because I lurve it. I ventured into a thrift store that I don't often frequent and there she was. This sweet little Anthro dress for a mere $10. I got all excited and started chatting with the lady at the rack next to me saying, "look at this dress! Isn't it amazing?!" Unfortunately, my new friend, who only needed to share in my enthusiasm with a high five, decided to become my personal shopper. Which woulda been great had her idea of my taste not involved vintage Jaclyn Smith. She was sweet for tryin', bless her heart (which, in the South, can mean many-a-thing. In this case, it's "get that Kathy Ireland frock away from me!") dress: thrifted, Anthro; belt: Pin Up Girl Clothing; box purse: vintage Enid Collins, ebay; necklace: Target, old

Me standing in front of a tree trunk. Like, literally. A trunk o' tree. Not too long ago, a coupla friends and I volunteered to help create the new window display at Anthropologie. It was so much fun. They served cookies, parfaits and mimosas. We skipped the snacks and instead drank our way through the crafting. Much to their dismay, I'm almost certain. In the midst of all our merry-making, it was asked what would become of the current cherry tree display. We were told that it was going to be given away to a good home. My buddy piped up that I was an art teacher that would love to have the tree...and, a week later, here we are with a mammoth tree in the trunk.

Dude, look at it. It's huge! I'm so excited to put it up...and it's totally getting me inspired and excited for the new school year. But I've still not settled on a theme. So! I'm asking you, whatcha got? Do you have any tree-themed book suggestions (please don't say The Giving Tree as I can't get through that book without crying which makes the kids super uncomfortable)? Art project ideas? Artist suggestions? Thanks in advance, I appreciate you doing my homework for me.

Chat with you soonish!

Read more »

DIY: Gnome for the Holidays

Ah! Giant Photo Alert! Just tryin' to make sure you can see the gnome-tastic-ness happening at the bottom of my dress. AND that annoying yoke thing that you can easily see put more wrinkles on my face and gray in my hair. I shoulda known anything called a yoke was gonna be trouble...guess the yoke was on me.

 Greetings from my gnome to your gnome! I present to you the latest in Crazy Art Teacher Style: The Gnome for the Holidays Dress. Please, make yourself at gnome as you read all about the trials and tribulations of the dress I worked on until the cows came gnome. And I promise you that will be that last of my home-meets-gnome idioms for at least a full 30 seconds. But that's all I can promise.

I'd like to have you believe that this dress was created for the children. After all, my wee artists are learning all about gnomes in art class (mini-gnome history lesson here) and I do love to dress the part.

But that "for the children" bit, that's just a complete lie.

One late night, whilst googling gnomes, I stumbled upon this Michael Miller fabric (from his collection so awesomely called Gnomeville) and I just knew I had to have it in my life and in my wardrobe. Because, in those quiet contemplative moments I have between one crazy art class to the next, I often think, "what is missing from my life?"

"Duh. A Gnome Dress."

While waiting for my fab fabric to arrive in the mail, I began plotting out my dress-terpiece. I decided to use the same Simplicity Pattern #1803 that I used on my Cuckoo Clock Dress and my Light-Up Blue Christmas Dress. Always a glutton for sewing punishment, I decided to attempt the yoke and cap sleeves for this dress. I felt for sure I was about to hit a fashion gnome run (it's been 30 seconds, right?).

And then the fabric arrived. All two yards of it. Oops. Turns out ordering gnome fabric in the middle of the night is not a good idea. After laying out the pattern pieces, I realized I could make the bodice of this dress but not the full skirt. But more on that later. 

For now, let's have a chat about the yoke. 

I'd like to summarize my feelings about the yoke in a little haiku I wrote one night while seam ripping for the umpteenth time. It goes a little something like this. Ahem:

For the love of gnomes

An art teacher makes a dress

Foiled! By a yoke!

Look, it's just a rough draft. I'm working on it.

To be fair, it wasn't the yoke's fault. I blame the author of the pattern that chose to leave out some vital steps. Having limited sewing experience, I am a strict step follower. So when this pattern just skipped several steps, I did too. And then the seam ripping commenced. When that became too annoying, I did a quick google search to find out what others were saying about the pattern. Several shared my frustration but then I read one that burned me up (read in your most annoying Nellie Oleson voice): "Oh, this is a great pattern for a beginner sewer."

Oh, gnome she didn't! After reading that, I snapped my laptop shut, stomped up to my sewing room, grabbed my seam ripper and went to town. Then I went about pinning the entire bodice together adding in the steps the author left out. When that worked, I unpinned the whole contraption and sewed it together. Yoke, you have replaced my hatred of sleeves. When it came time for the skirt, I decided to use my tried and true vintage Simplicity Pattern #8087. I opted for the skirt in view #2 but adding pockets from the other pattern. It's quite the hybrid of a dress.

Using two different patterns together had me nervous. I wasn't sure if the pocket thing would work and if the bodice and skirt would actually fit together. However, putting in that yoke made me bold enough to think I could do it. And it really was a snap. I opted to wear the bow of the belt in the back so as not to take away from my gnomies at the bottom of the dress.

The following day, when I wore it to school, the kids had great fun chillin' wit my gnomies.

Probably because we've been chatting about them for some time. Remember that midnight gnome fabric shopping spree I told you about? Well, I also picked up the two books on the left from a used book seller via amazon. The hilarious gnome book on the right is from my super Secret Santa at school.

And it turns out gnomes-disease is quite contagious. My sweet first grade artists have been bringing in these drawings since we began learning about them. They are currently creating a beautiful Black Forrest collage for their gnomes to call home. I'll be certain to share those with you soon.

Even my house is looking like Gnomeville from my Christmas tree (which is still up and will most likely stay up for entirely too long) to my knicky-knacks (thanks again, Secret Santa!). I do believe I have a new addiction.

Although, I don't think this is gonna be my "starter gnome" because I don't foresee too many more gnome frocks in my future. Especially with a yoke. However, since finishing this thing, I've updated my haiku. What's that? You wanna hear it? Well, (waving hand sheepishly) okay:

Yoke, who's yo mama?

Why, me and my seam ripper

And my wee gnomies.

Thanks for dropping by!

Read more »