What the Art Teacher Wore #68

This picture cracks me up because it kinda makes me look all sweet and innocent and whutnot. Which is SO TRUE. Except instead of sweet, I'd say "sarcastic" and innocent I'd say "something-that's-not-innocent-but-really-lazy-and-kind-of-annoying". Hey, I can't help the way I was raised. dress: vintage, The Hip Zipper in Nashville, shoes: Crocs; hair flower: H&M

 DUDES! You won't believe what just happened! I am so humiliated and mortified, you don't even know. But before I get to that, I've gotta first tell you the prequel of said Humiliated and Mortifying Event. Because it will totally set the stage for what just happened and will reaffirm your very correct thoughts of my ridiculousness. 

(I know what you're thinking, "Ahem. Giveaway winner, please? I didn't come here for no story time." To which I say, "Patience is ... oh, crap, what's the saying again? Oh yeah...Patience is a Virtue. What does that even mean? I have no idea, just scroll to the bottom, you impatient virtue-less beast.)

A buddy and I decided to take a day and explore some dusty old antique shops which, by the way, are the very best kind. The prices were crazy reasonable (I scooped up 3 amazing vintage dresses priced at $10 each which the owner sold to me for $8!). If you live in Tennessee and find yourself in between Columbia and Thompson Station, drop in Carters Creek Station Antiques.

 Okay, so, a coupla days ago, I scheduled some dudes to come out and clean my gutters. Which, if that sounds naughty to you, than you obviously have your mind in the gutter and should consider a good cleaning. I was told they'd be here around 8am which kinda worried me as I planned to be meeting up with a friend to hit estate sales (I'll share my drool-worthy spoils here in a sec). The gutter-cleaning-secretary-lady assured me that it wasn't a big deal as this was an outside job and they wouldn't be needing me. Cool.

Did I ever tell you about the time my crazy neighbor came over while I was planting ivy and said all soothsayer-esque, "I predict that ivy is going to take over your whole yard." To which I replied, after punching her in the nose, "Oh yeah? Well, how come you didn't see that comin', huh? Because my fist just took over your whole face!" Okay, not really. Like most nose-punchings, that only happened in my mind. But it turns out she was kinda right. And I kinda like it. dress: vintage, thrifted; belt: Pin Up Girl Clothing; shoes: TJMaxx

 So, woudn't ya know, at 7am I'm at the kitchen table eating brekky when the doorbell rings. And I suddenly get that watery-bowel feeling that only comes when you just so happen to be sitting at the kitchen table in your nastiest, shortest bathrobe with nuthin but undies on underneath and you are wanted at the front door. Oh, but wait, there's more: one of the things that sold us on our home was the fact that you can stand at the front door and see all the way into the kitchen. Which means door-bell-ringing/gutter-cleaning dude could totally see me. Fortunately, I had my back to the door. So all he saw was me hop up from the table and take off running.

More antique store goodness.

This vintage dress is one of my fave thrift store finds. It's so hard to find good, polyester-free vintage in the thrift stores these days that when I do, I feel like I've struck gold. dress: vintage, thrifted; pin: vintage; shoes: BCShoes, old; belt: made by me for my glow-in-the-dark Christmas dress

 And I was like a maniac as I didn't even know where I was running to. My fight or flight instinct was telling me: Get some more clothes on! Brush your teeth! Did you even wash your face last night because you look like a member of Kiss! Oh, never mind, just hide in the closet and hope he goes away.

Which I totally was going to do. But then he rang the doorbell again.

A sweet gem from the antique shop. I love the excitement on that little one's face.

I knew I had to get to the bedroom for some flippin' clothes. But the main set of stairs is right at the front door so my only option was to take this sneaky back set of stairs from the kitchen. And as I zipped up those stairs I thought, "perfect, I'll just slip on some shorts and a t-shirt and go see what gutter-cleaning-man wants." 

And then I remembered: I had to cross the top of the stairs which you can see from the front door. Crap.

top: thrifted, Banana Republic; skirt: thrifted, vintage; bag: Enid Collins, ebay

As I stood at the top of the stairs, I weighed my options:

A. Go answer the door. In nasty bathrobe. With Kiss-face. And be the laughing stock of all gutter-cleaning-man dudes.  

B. Run across the top of the stairs. Be seen by gutter-cleaning-man in my nasty bathrobe but only in a flash as I move lightening fast. Come downstairs in appropriate attire and act as though nothing happened.

I went with option B. And then I vowed, like took an oath, that I would never ever just sit around in my nasty bathrobe and not-much-else again.

Are you seeing this?! I scored big money at an estate sale this week with over 20 vintage dress patterns in my size! Can you believe the luck?! 

 Which now (finally) brings me to what just happened. So, it's after 12 pm, I've just had my lunch and I'm wearing appropriate teacher-on-summer-vacation attire: my pajamas. Look, my oath was very specific, it said I couldn't sit around in my bathrobe and undies anymore. So I upgraded to a paint-splattered t-shirt from college and a pair of waistband-busted sweats. What? I like to keep it classy yet comfy. Kinda like a Forever Lazy. Just not as swanky.

If I didn't currently have another dress on my sewing table, I'd make this one. Sadly, what I'm  currently working on is making me homicidal. So if I call you to come over for tea, don't. There's a good chance Ima gonna kill you in a fit of this-dress-pattern-is-driving-me-homicidal rage. You've been warned.

 This time Ima sitting on the couch in full view of the front door when the doorbell rings. My fight or flight totally started screaming for me to run for it again but it was too late. Gas-man was staring right at me. So with one hand holding up my waist-band-busted sweats, I opened the door.

I have a confession to make: I love rainy summer days. They're all snuggly and easy-going. Perfect for pajamas-til-way-after-noon kinda days. Which should be everyday in my book. dress: vintage; boots: Hunter

 And the followin' went down: 

Gas Man (looking at me gingerly): Hellooo, ma'am. Um, you were sent a letter saying that we would be doing a service call in your area at this time. Did you get the letter?

Me: Um, maybe?

 

Gas Man: We also sent out an email, a text message and a voice mail. 

Me: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sure I got that [vaguely recall throwing away said letter, deleting said text and voice messages and not even bothering to open said email. Oops.]

Gas Man: But if you are sick we can come back another time!

Me: Oh, I'm not sick! I'm just on summer vacation. In my pajamas. I'm going to go change now. Be right back.

And that's when I made an oath addendum: I will never ever sit around in my pajamas or my nasty bathrobe again. Although, in all seriousness, that's just not an attainable oath for me. So, now that I think about it, I'm going to have to do another oath rewrite. Here goes: I will never sit in full view of my front door. And I will always keep random piles of clothing around the house in case of an emergency. Like in the kitchen cabinets. Or the fridge.

 But enough about all that, let's get to the giveaway! I was so super excited by those of you that entered and totally wrote down all of your ideas so I can steal 'em one day. Which was apart of my evil plan all along, heh heh (did that sound maniacal? I was going for maniacal.) But seriously, some of you wrote the nicest things and it truly made my day (and earned you bonus points. Just kidding [no I'm not]). But in the end, there can be only one winner and that would be...

Yay, Jessica! Here's what she wrote:

"I've been a mildly obsessive reader ever since I discovered your blog a few months ago. The fabric is just calling out to be an apron. A full apron with pockets in a contrasting fabric. For cooking things from the Betty Crocker Outdoor Cook Book."

 Congrats, my dear! 

As for the rest of ya, keep rockin' that bathrobe and remember to always keep a spare set of clothing in your kitchen. Trust me.