DIY: A Splatter-Paintin'/Jackson Pollock-y Hybrid Dress

Oh mah goodness, the dress that's been haunting my sewing room for ages is finally complete! Paired with my DIY palette hair clip and some sparkly flats from Anthropologie.

I'll have you know that I'm one of those super duper annoying people that tells the same joke over and over. AND, if you don't laugh the first time, Ima gonna assume it's not because you don't find me highly entertaining, it's just that your ears are broken and you're kinda dumb. Therefore, said not-worthy-of-a-laugh joke will be repeated, this time only louder and slower for your listening (dis)pleasure.

Dudes, when am I gonna learn to work this lil point-n-shoot camera of mine correctly? I mean, this photo's got more grain that a bowl of FiberOne.

Case in point: When I wore this dress on our final day of Painting Processes in the art room. Details of that Super Happy Fun Insanity to come but until then, lemme break it down for ya: 20 children + paint + instruments of mass painting destruction = one awesomely painted mess.  So my repeated joke of choice to anyone who happened to venture into the art room mid-madness? 

"My dress was actually white this morning!"

When my hilarity was met with a blank stare, I restated my standup routine this time explaining my joke. Because that always helps:

"You know. It was white. And then it got paint on it. [unchanged blank stare = digging myself into an even bigger unfunny joke hole] Because, with all the glue huffing, the kids went kinda bonkers, tied me down and splattered paint all over me."

And just when I think I mighta gotten through to Super-Slow-Joke-Getter, some kid'll blow it and shout across the room, "Nuh huh! We don't even know how to tie!"

While I'm pretty pleased with the fit and finish, I'm not loving the wrinkled look of the red midriff. Whassup? I'm guessin my interfacing should not have been an adhesive one. My thought is that the adhesive is causing the midriff to wrinkle. What do you think, sewing sistahs?

Yeah. So I guess I won't be quittin' my day job and takin' my standup out on the road. Cuz knowing my luck, I'd have my students in the audience razzing me the whole time. Which is kinda like my everyday life. Seriously! In fact, just yesterday when I said, "Okay, kids, it's time to start cleaning up." One of my fourth graders raised his hand and said:

"Mrs. Stephens, we don't clean on Fridays. We have the day off. Sorry."

I. Get. No. Respect.

Le sigh. Let's chat about this new dress o' mine shall we? Before I fall into a deep dark nobody-likes-me/everybody-hates-me/why-don't-I-just-eat-dirt depression. I got the notion that I needed some Back-to-School dresses and scooped several yards of this splattery fabric a month ago. I quickly began working on the bodice using this well-loved Simplicity pattern of mine.

 

Then I decided to break up all that splattery goodness a bit. For this idea, I used the wide waist band from my vintage Simplicity pattern. After the bodice was complete, I seriously had 6 yards of the fabric left. Just enough to try my hand at my very first circle skirt with that vintage Butterick pattern on the right. With the use of three patterns, it's like a ménage à trois dress. But without the awkward sleeping arrangement.

Can you believe the size of this thing?! I loved that I didn't have to mess with any gathering business as I've done with so many other dresses...until I had to hem this beast. And I wasn't about to do that by hand. Are you kidding me? I ran that thing through my machine as fast as I could and it still took me up to an hour to complete.

I'm thinking I need a brand new, extra fluffy crinoline to showcase the endless yards of splattery goodness, don't you think?

 

Because this fabric totally has a Jackson Pollock thing happening, I got this crazy notion to create a dress for each of our Artists of the Month. If you recall, I created this little number when the kids were learning about Hokusai last month and now I've got this Pollock-y frock complete. The only prob? Andy Warhol is our featured artist this month! Which means I've got some work to do...but at least I've got Pollock ready when his month comes up. My goal by the end of the school year is to have created 10 artist-themed dresses. Wish me luck, ya'll.

Oh! And those Painting Processes I was telling you about? Well, here's what the art room tables looked like before...

...and by the end of the day. Take a close look at that once-white table covering. Looks just like the fabric of my dress, doncha think? Next time, I'm just throwing some white cotton cloth on the tables, ya'll.

At the rate the kids are going, I'll have enough fabric to create several of these Splatter-Paintin'/Jackson Pollock-y dresses. Stay tuned for more details of our Painting Processes in the art room. Until then, have a fantasticly splatterific week!

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DIY: A 1960s Diner Dress or Why I Think Butterick 5708 is the Devil

 I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say that if there ever was a contest titled "Best Waitress Outfit for Trashy 1960s Roadside Diner", I'm sorry, but I would totally win. Like, don't even bother submittin' your entries cuz just look at this thing. It's like Bob Evans and Kentucky Fried Chicken got together and had a 1960s love child that actually turned out not to be a child at all but a dress (which is weird, I know, but that's just the kind of scientific anomaly this dress is. Seriously.)

 Where was I again? Oh yes, First Place Winner. Thank you very much.

 Ermkay, so hubs says I can't wear this dress to school because one of the bottles says "Hot as Hell" on it. I say nonsense. Learning that hell is one hot place just might improve the discipline in my art room, doncha think? You might remember me showing off this fabric here, along with my other Michael Miller retro barbeque themed fabric. 

I decided to pair the fabric with mustard yellow and red gingham. Because it just says Class, don't you think? That red gingham gives me flashbacks to my short-lived-because-I-was-super-sucky days as a waitress at Pizza Hut. Dude, not a single shift would go by when I didn't forget to put in someone's pizza order (I think I was secretly trying to do them a favor, but did they see it as such? Nooooo. Some people are just so ungrateful). Next thing you know, it's an hour later, their kids are screaming and they are barking at me all "Where's our pizza?!" and I'm all "It'll be right out!" as I stick my hand in my apron pocket to find the order ticket I forget to turn in. I convinced whoever was on shift with me that I was sick and needed to spend approximately 20 minutes in the bathroom and could they take care of table 23 for me, please?! Needless to say, I was the only waitress to ever get tipped...in pennies.

All the different ways you can wear the bodice of Butterick 5708. 

You wanna know what sucks more than my waitressing skills? Butterick 5708. That's what. 

Look, I don't know who Mrs. Butterick is but I can tell you this, she's one ambiguous b-- oh crap, are there under 12-ers reading? Fine: butthead. Granted, I'm still a very green sewer so I'm used to my sweet Simplicity patterns holding my hand, telling me which direction to iron my seams, how to understitch, making sure I brush my teeth before bed. Meanwhile, ole Butterick is all, "Oh, you know. Just make the bodice...if you can."

I think I'll stick to wearing my dress either tied at the shoulders (top photo) or pulled over the shoulders and tied at the chest as seen on the left. I love the idea of wearing the dress one shouldered, but to do so you gotta tie the fabric under your arm which made me feel like I had a giant underarm tumor growth. Not a great feeling.

 Confession: When I sew, I have conversations with whatever I'm working on. Most of these convos take place in my head so it's all good and hubs doesn't know what a crazy person I am (yes he does). However, this time around, it got a little loud.

Since the dress wasn't enough craziness, I decided to create my own shoes to match.

  I was working away on this dress when I thought to myself, you know, this dress isn't so bad. I'll just finish off this bodice, add the gathered skirt and--

Butterick: Ahem. Gurl, you got a lot left to do. You better slow your roll.

Me: Um, excuse me? I don't know if I'm more confused by your talking or the fact that you just said "slow your roll". Who says that?

Butterick: Paris Hilton.

Me: What?! That doesn't even make sense! She says stuff like, "that's hawt" and "ohmygurd" and other pre-rehab nonsense. You are full of lies, Butterick!

Butterick: What. Ever.

...and these are types of conversations I have WITH A DRESS PATTERN.

And while you digest that bit of craziness, let's talk about how I made these shoes, shall we? I started with this rather dull pair of wedges I snagged on the cheap. Armed with some gingham, an Exacto knife and good ole Aleene, I followed my own DIY shoe tutorial here.

 I wasn't in love with just the raw fabric edge on the shoe so I decided to add some rickrack. Using a hot glue gun, I drew a super small bead of glue around the tip and bottom of the shoe before attaching the rickrack. That patent leather top of the shoe looked a little too Golden Girls Grandma to me so I decided to bedazzle it with some bows.

 Making these bows is a snap. After deciding on the height of the bow, I doubled that measurement and added 1/4" for the seam. After sewing it right sides together, I flipped the tube of fabric inside out (using one of those wire-tube-turning-thingies that make you want to kill yourself. Just use a safety pin and watch a youtube tutorial for the love of those around you). I trimmed the edges with a curve and folded them inward creating the desired width. I then sewed a seam down the middle where I placed the pin in the photo above.

 For the tie around the bow, I used a small folded piece of fabric. I pinned that in place behind the bow. Because I didn't want to do any hand sewing (ewwww, hand sewing, me no likey!), I switched to a zipper foot on my machine and stitched as close to the back of the bow as possible.

 And then your bow is finished! I decided to add shoe clips to the back of mine so I could take them on and off. That's what you see me  hand sewing in the photo on the left.

 Yay, shoes! I'm thinking they'll go pretty nicely with this dress too.

In the end, I finished the dress. Actually, I believe the last words I said were, "BUTTERICK, I WILL FINISH YOU." To which she replied, "Oh yeah? You mean how you "finished" ole Simplicity 3877?" with a head tilt toward the heap of half sewn dress mess on the floor. I was just about to spit out some ugly grown up words when I heard from the next room:

Hubs: Cass? Are you talking to me?

Me: Well, yeah. Who else would I be talking to -- a dress pattern?!

It turns out I was right. I did finish it. But it wasn't until I was tying my shoulder straps that I realized Butterick got the last laugh: 

I sewed a pin inside one of the ties.

That's right. Now I have a permanent pin-pokey reminder of ole Butterick and her devilish ways. Thankfully I have this super swanky Pizza Hut/KFC/Bob Evans dress to show for my efforts. Sweet.

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What the Art Teacher Wore #44

What I Wore on Wednesday: Don't ask me what happened to Monday and Tuesday. I'm on vacation. Which usually means pj's and unwashed hair for as many days as I can manage. In this case, it was only two. Mom came to visit on Wednesday, so I had to look semi-presentable. sweater: thrifted with vintage buttons added my me; skirt: vintage, thrifted; fishnets over tights (which I do believe I did every day this week): Target; boots: my good ole Seychelles; scarf: Germany

 Well, my Thanksgiving Break is now hours away from coming to an end. The reality of that has definitely not set in. I'm still knee deep in unfinished sewing/crafting/and Christmas decorating projects and I just can't bear the thought of leaving them untouched tomorrow. The silver lining is that I'm very excited about our upcoming unit on Germany. I've got my cuckoo clock dress and the coordinating lesson complete. But that's just for my second grade lesson. I've decided that my first and third grade are going to complete a gnome-themed project. Having done some research on gnomes, I thought I'd share it with you this week. They are quite the character.

Garden Gnome Liberation Front: Did you know there was such a thing? Apparently it's a group of (crazy) people in Europe whose mission is to rescue gnomes from their lives in boring middle-class gardens and return them to their original homes in the mountains. In this article, you can read how one group of guys can be hired to fight against The Front (as they're called) by dressing up as Snow White's Seven Dwarves to divert attention away from the gnomes and...I'm not sure what their services offer after that. They can also be hired for birthday parties. Something to keep in mind.

Thanksgiving!: Mom, hubs and I loaded up the cars and headed south to Birmingham, Alabama to visit the hub's parents and family. It was a deliciously lovely day that ended with a long walk down the railroad tracks collecting pine cones and railroad ties. dress: Anthro, picked up at Buffalo Exchange; blouse and belt: gifts from friends; boots: Frye, picked up for cheap at French's Boots in Franklin, Tn

So apparently, there is no definitive history of the gnome. It seems many cultures have their own version of a mystical dwarf, some dating as far back as the ancient civilizations of Egypt and Greece. Fairy tales and folklore from medieval times are full of stories of goblins, trolls, leprechauns, elves, and fairies. This illustration is from Gnomes by Wil Huygen, illustrated by Rien Poortvliet.

Black Friday Shopping: We are rather lazy Black Friday shoppers as we didn't leave the house til 8am. By the time we hit the stores, shelves were pretty empty and the Crazy Shopping Zombies were gone. I could tell my mom was pretty bummed. She's a serious people watcher that was dying to go out at midnight. But I just don't have the stomach to watch humanity behave humiliatingly. sweater and tights: picked up just recently at Target; dress and belt: vintage, from a play I performed in during high school; boots: I only brought one pair on this trip -- Frye.

Story goes that the first gnome statue was introduced to a garden by an Englishman named Sir Charles Isham of Lamport Hall. After having built a huge rockery (er, that's a rock garden of sorts) and filling it with dwarf conifers, our friend of Lamport Hall just didn't feel his garden was complete. It was missing that certain gnome-y something. Sir Charles Isham picked his up in Germany where the figures were mostly kept in drawing rooms. When one gnome just wasn't enough, whole communities of gnomes were added to his garden. Image from pinterest.

Mom Love: After a slightly fruitless day of Black Friday shopping, my mom made the long drive back to Indiana. I'm guessing it took her around nine hours. Ouch. My butt goes numb after two. I'm so glad she made the trip.

The Gnome

by Margaret Morgan

Deep down he goes, the little gnome,

Deep down into his earthy home.

Deep Down among the roots he lives;

Such help to all the plants he gives.

He helps the seed to split its skin;

He helps the roots to settle in;

He helps the shoots to stand upright

And grow to reach the warm sunlight.

Sometimes he comes above the ground;

Sometimes his footprints can be found;

Sometimes, before the moon is up,

He drinks the dew from bluebell cups.

Exploring Birmingham Saturday: My mom-in-law took us on a tour of Birmingham's thrift and antique shops. We stopped by the awesome Peanut Depot for some cajun roasted nuts and some amazing baked goods at the Continental Bakery. We ended out tour with a view of the city. sweater: vintage, gift from my mom-in-law; scarf: Germany; skirt: Anthro; tights: Target

It's said that gnomes are optimists and that they breathe contentment. And I guess two gnomes are better than one. Especially when you've found your gnome-y match made in heaven. Image from the Gnome Habitat in Auburn, California.

Oh, look, it's me with my gnome-y love match. And he's almost got the gnome-beard to match. I'm working on a couple of matching conical shaped hats for us.

And I just had to include these gnome zombies by the artists Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa. You have to check out their etsy shop. I definitely would add these to my place-were-mostly-weeds-grow garden, especially at Halloween.

 Thanks for dropping by! And may the happy and optimistic spirit of the gnome be with you this week.

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What the Art Teacher Wore #42

Full of Hot Air Monday: Because my first graders are learning all about hot air balloons, I decided to dedicate some of my wardrobe to this theme. I was thrilled when I found these hot air balloon tights on etsy...and even happier when I discovered they were made in Nashville! top: anthro, gift from a friend; skirt: vintage, picked up in an antique shop in Germany; tights: Carousel Ink; boots: vintage, thrifted

 Greetings from Slacker-land. Apart from the loooong hike hubs and I took today (eight miles! total keister-kicker!), this week has found me doin' a whole lotta nuthin. Which I blame entirely on a book I've had my nose stuck in. Because we don't know each other that well, I'm embarrassed to tell you what I've been reading (I swear it's not 50 Shades!). What I will tell you is that I'm not allowing myself to read the next book until I complete some unfinished DIY bidness. But enough about that.

Have you met Jim Flora? I've loved his cartoon-y kitsch style of paintings, drawings and prints for some time and I thought I'd share them with you this week. I love how his work is so energized that is seems to wiggle around the canvas. I hope you enjoy seeing his work as much as I do.

The artist and a self-portrait. James "Jim" Flora is an American artist born in 1914. He's best known for the album covers he created for RCA Victor and Columbia records during the height of awesome design: the 1940's and 50's. What I find more interesting is his personal work that often had some biazzro overtones.

Florals and Balloons Tuesday: When I'm attempting to mix and match patterns, as I tried to here in the above ensemble, I hold garment after garment side by side until a sudden "ooohh, that works" happens. Later, I often think, "what in the world was I thinking?!" but today, I think I'm okay. dress and belt: sale, Anthro; sweater: Ann Taylor, thrifted; fishnets and tights: Target; boots: Frye

Mambo for Cats, 1955 I mean really. How great is this? I love the Picasso-style face one the middle cat as well as the mustaches. You can listen to this album here if you are interested. And you should be because it's fantastic. Apparently, Flora was a huge lover of music, calling it his muse, and I think this album cover shows that love.

The Panic is On, 1954 I noticed that in many of Mr. Flora's work, he'll either use a solid white or black background. No interference from the background for his imagery in the foreground. Simply awesome.

Dirty Looks Wednesday: So I'm at the bookstore buying that paperback I haven't been able to put down, when I turn around to see an older gentleman nudging his wife and pointing at me. She looks at me and makes this flinch-y face at my outfit, particularly my blue-fishnet-over-green-tights legs. By the time she finally looks up at my face, I made sure to give her the biggest I-just-caught-you-staring-at-me smile I could muster. Despite my annoyance. I mean, it's one thing to not like what someone is wearing, but do you really have to be rude about it? Me thinks not. still on our hot air balloon kick top: Anthro; tights and skirt: Target; shoes: Dolls by Nina

I can't seem to find the title of this work, but it looks very similar to one titled The Big Bank Robbery. You know my love for It's A Small World artist Mary Blair. This work reminds me of a wonky Small World. Both artists worked during the same era but it's apparent that Mr. Flora had a different wacky flair.

Manahattan. Not only did Mr. Flora design album covers, he's also the author/illustrator of 17 children's books. I'm dying to get my mitts on them. While he worked on books and album covers, he also worked on his personal art which is often described as playful, erotic and macabre. And subtle. Apparently during one of his last exhibits, his body of work had a nautical theme. Inside the tiny boat images where naughty little scenes that could only be made out by magnifying glass.

Pencil Perfect Thursday: My goal for Thursday was to have completed my DIY Hot Air Balloon dress...but that book! I couldn't stop reading! So, it still hangs in my sewing room, mocking me. So I went all pencil-y instead. sweater: Urban Outfitters, on sale now!; skirt: DIY by me here; shoes: another DIY, look here; pencil hairclip: yeah, that's by me too. As if you couldn't tell.

Would you just look at that tiny wood cut?! Amazing. I spent last weekend at an art teacher conference where we carved into linoleum blocks. And I thought mine was at least kinda sorta detailed. Mr. Flora put mine to shame. I'll share my block and what I did with it in an upcoming post.

This print reminds me of another of my favorite artists, Thomas Hart Benton. I love the crooked street lamp.

Tiger Run Friday: It was our school's third annual Tiger Run! I think I ended up going a good four miles around the track with the kids. It was the perfect day for it. tie-dyed shirt: tie-dyed in art class, DIY'ed at home with ribbons and scissors; skirt and black top: Target; tiger tights and tiger ears: amazon; shoes: Earth Shoes

Connecticut Shore, 1954. Jim Flora lived a long life that ended in 1998. His artwork seems so familiar to me mostly because of how many other artists have since been strongly influenced by his style. His style is so popular that when googling around, I found that you can even purchase Jim Flora wallpaper. Pure awesomeness.

I hope you have a wonderful week!

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