DIY: A Felted Fiesta Frock with Balls

Do any of y'all ever have imaginary conversations? I'm not talkin about ones where you replay annoying encounters with that hipster snob at the uber-chic coffee house and dream up amazing comebacks to her horrified look at your mispronunciation of "latte" (Y'ALL, so what if I want a soy LATE [with an emphasis on the T cuz there's two of 'em], it's almost $5. I'll call it whatever the frick I puhlease, thank ya vury much). Naw, man. I'm talking about the imaginary conversations that involve being interviewed. On T.V. By the likes of Barbara Walters. My most recent Imaginary Interview with Babs went a lil something like this:

"Cassie Stephens, you've done it all."

(humble nod) "It's true."

"You've felted a hipster likeness of your cat onto a sweater ("hipster" is a lil harsh, doncha think, Barb?).You've created some of the tackiest of art teaching clothing (aw, now, tacky is in the eye of the beholder, amiright?!). But do you find, in those quiet moments when you are stringing lights through a dress, that your life is missing something?"

(head bowed) "I do, Barb. I do."

(shocked intake of breath) "And what is it, Cassie Stephens? What is it that your life is missing?"

"A dress with balls, Barb. Big fuzzy colorful balls."

But before we get into that, let's do a bit of a rewind, shall we? I recently unearthed this dress from the back of my closet and tossed it into my give-it-to-Goodwill pile. I mean, even though this happened the last time I wore the dress, that was several summers ago (that's right. It was summer. No idea why Chewy was in a Santa hat. You know Wookies, they play by their own rules.) Since then, I'd deemed the dress too plain for my taste and too white for the art room (it'd only stay that lily white around the 5 year-old set for a hot minute. No longer.)

When I was getting ready to teach my Felted Pet Portrait class at The Skillery a coupla weeks ago, hubs made the remark that it was too bad I couldn't wear one of my felted sweaters for the occasion (it's summer in Tennessee, y'all. It's hotter than Ryan Gosling in a Speedo). I had just pulled this sweater outta the closet to show to the class when I got the idea: I'll felt this same floral pattern onto that uber boring -n- white dress!

Deets on that sweater here, kids. Now, I gotta tell ya, that sweater endeavor took forever. When I thought about doing a similar floral motif to the dress, I had serious flashbacks of the hours bent hunched over that sweater stabbing it mercilessly with my needle felting tool. With my felting class the following day, I knew I didn't have that kind of time to commit to the dress.

(Gah, why do I look like I have some sort of terrible spray tan, y'all?! Orange much?) Now the balls came later, y'all. Let's chat about the felted florals a pinch, ya wanna?

You know I'm nuts-o about this needle felting biz. For more detailed instructions, you can check out these short clips explaining the floral needle felting process. Please try to ignore my Skeletor hands.

And one more:

Now, I'd never worked on thin 100% cotton before. If you look closely at my dress, you can see that the needle felting tool left behind some pretty unappealing holes in the fabric. Which, once ironed, pretty much disappeared. 

For some reason, this dress didn't take nearly as long as I anticipated. Which made it so the dress was complete before my self-appointed needle-felting-class-teaching deadline. Where not one of those participants noticed my dress.

I was all, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Look at my floral bosoms and tell me it isn't the hottest thing you've seen since Ryan Gosling in a Speedo. 

After some serious self reflection and imaginary interview time with my girl Babs, I finally figured out why no one took note of my dress: It didn't have balls.

So I marched myself over to JoAnn's and stocked up on the most colorful and tackiest of rickrack and  garland-with-balls (anyone know what this stuff is truly called?). Now, if you decide to follow my lead and spice up your own wardrobe with balls, lemme just tell you something: This stuff ain't cheap. Assuming that something this tacky would be inexpensive, I loaded up on 3 yards...only to find out at check out that it was $11 A YARD. WHUUUUUT?! You ain't never seen a person pull up that JoAnn's coupon on their phone and whip out their 15% teacher discount so fast. I almost fell out. 

Once home, I spent some time pinning the garland-with-balls, rickrack and other rando trimmings from my stash to the bottom of the dress. This was easy to zip through my sewing machine and, I think, balances out that colorful floralness on the top.

Outfit deets: felted ball necklace: Paper Source; belt: Anthropologie; shoes: Frye; bangles: gifts from Diana and Aunt Rosemarie

Since the dress kinda reminds me of a fiesta, I decided to wear it when I hosting a wee art-teachers-n-donuts get together I had at my house. I just so happen to be the proud owner of a "donut machine" (which is basically a waffle maker in the shape of donuts, y'all) and while I'm no bueno at getting the proportions right to produce perfect donuts, these guys were so delish, don't nobody cared. Add my famous Krispie Kreme icing on top and you've got a taste bud fiesta.

And there you have it! Now I can finally tell Babs, "Why yes, I have done it all. Balls and all."

I'll be back with you kids soon with an Artsy Book Club assignment and a little What the Art Teacher Wore. Have a super week!

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DIY: More Dip Dying and High/Low Hemline

There's something you should know about me: I'm a fads-hater. I ain't proud. But there are current trends that make me wanna punch a pillow (kinda wimpy, I know, but I've got soft delicate hands and punching hurts!). Case in point:

• Skinny Jeans on Dudes. Seriously? I don't know what it's like to be a dude but I can only guess that those are...uncomfortable. They make me uncomfortable. Shoot, I actually can't even wear those because the moment I get my leg half way in, I start to experience calf-claustrophobia. Every time I've tried on a pair, I have a near panic attack and can't get outta 'em fast enough.
• Yoga Pants as Pants. Ladies, for reals? Ya'll act like it's so terrible when our Walmart friends show up shopping in their sweats and slippers. To me yoga pants is just the yuppie version of the same thing. You just worked out? Awesome. Now go change your clothes.
• The High/Low Hemline. Didn't we do a varied length hemline like 5 years ago? So this one is now high in the front/short in the back? Yippie, I can flash my spider veins and ghastly white thighs for all the world to see...

World, you're welcome.

So, um, yeah, not only am I a fads hater but I'm also a big fat hypocrite. But I promise I didn't recreate this hemline simply because it's "in". I kinda had to alter it somehow or this dip-dyed DIY would have me lookin' like a wannabe hippie. And I gave up that look in high school.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's do the back-track boogie and start at the beginning...

 So a couple of weekends ago, when I was on my dip-dying bender, I decided to dye this 1990's Express rayon number that's been hiding in my closet since high school. Because I'm an idiot, I forgot to snap a photo of the dress before...but the one on the left is very similar in pattern, color and style. And, of course, a DIY of mine wouldn't be complete without a little Antho-spiration.

I began by actually reading the directions a little bit more carefully. Turns out you are to completely dissolve the dye in a small amount of hot water before adding it to the warm water dye bath (I used warm water because I was afraid hot would shrink the rayon). Not dissolving the dye completely and simply adding the powder to the dye bath is the reason I had a couple of dark dye dots on my shirt. Live and learn.

Or not. This is my version of a measured portion of non-iodonized salt. For more dying directions, you can see my first attempts here.

Originally, I had wanted only the bottom of the dress to be dyed. So, like last week, I double bagged the top of the dress and proceeded to slowly sink the dress into the yellow dye bath on on the left. I let it soak up to the waistline for about 5 minutes. Then I pulled the dress out about 5" and left the rest of it to soak in the yellow dye for 20 minutes. This helped achieve the gradation to yellow I was going for.

After pulling that out of the dye bath and doing the running-under-water-until-clear thing, I prepped a fuschia dye bath. I eased the now-yellow dress into that bath (see right photo) following the same routine: about 5 minutes of a soak to create a gradation and the bottom for 20 minutes.

And then I pulled a typical Cassie: I touched the top of the clean white dress with drippy fuschia dye fingers. So much for that double bagging. Knowing I'd never be able to wash out those drips, I proceeded to dye the top of the dress in the fuschia dye bath.

And, viola! One hippy-dippy-dyed dress. Now all I need are some Birkenstocks, some dreads and a couple showerless days and I'll be all set!

And that's when I decided that an altered hemline would update this dress a pinch. I figured I'd already taken this dress beyond the point of no return, why not hack into it and see what more damage I can do? Creating this high/low hemline is quite possibly the easiest thing in the world. Decide just how high you'd like the dress to go and mark the dress. Using a curved line reminiscent of an elementary school slide, stop just beyond the midpoint of the hem. Iron a 1/4" hem and stitch.

And done. One style I exclaimed not three days ago that I'd never EVER wear now happily resides in my closet between my skinny jeans and yoga pants.

Warning: High/Low hemlines are not for windy days and grannie panties. Just sayin'.

Outfit details: dress: Express; shoes: Lucky Brand; bow belt: made by me, DIY here

As I was dying this dress and the one from last week, I realized one was made up of the cold colors while this was warm. I thought for sure they'd make great teaching outfits when teaching color theory...but I've since changed my mind on this little number. It's going to have to be a fun summer frock or beach coverup. I'm stamping this one "Not Approved for the Artroom". See, I kinda know what professional attire looks like. Fishnets, yes; high/low, no. 

Until next time!

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What the Art Teacher Wore #53

Oh, Monday: A coupla weekends ago, I dug some dresses out of my closet that I had never worn. Some were holey, too summery or just a pinch too tight. I forced myself to try them all on and see if they should be sold, kept or donated. I always thought this one was too tight but a lil Spanx came to the rescue. dress: vintage, thrifted; brown tights: Target; sparkle fishnets: TJMaxx; booties and belt: Anthropologie

 Well, kids, I finally got my wish: I scored a Snow Day this past Friday! How many weeks have I spent whining about getting gypped outta a day of freedom? Apparently the Snow Day Gods were just so sick and tired of the endless bellyaching, they threw a day my way. And, lemme tell you, I totally spent my time wisely by enjoying a bubble bath, catching up on Project Runway and sewing (read seam ripping) up a storm. What a gift.

But now it's back to reality. Wah-wah-waaahhh. So I'm doing a little multitasking with this here blog post: I'm sharing what I wore as well as a brief history of wool and weaving. My second and fourth grade students are ready to leave our study of Germany and travel to the United Kingdom where we will enter the Wild World of Weaving. We're trying some new things this year so wish me luck. 

Until next time, enjoy your week!

The story of man-wearing-wool began way back before recorded history with the primitive man. Not wanting to waste any parts of the animals that were hunted for food, man discovered that this fur could keep him cool in the day and warm at night. And because no other fabric has been able to match it, wool is still just as popular today.

Mary Poppins Tuesday:  Several students commented that I looked Mary-Poppins-esque on this day. Which I totally took as a compliment. However, that afternoon when I was walking to a coffee shop, a group of teenagers stopped their convo when I walked by. When one started belting out,"Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down!", it just wasn't as cute. dress: vintage, picked up at an arts festival in Memphis; sparkly tights: TJMaxx; shoes: Softt; belt: Pin Up Girl

Wool is a part of Britain's history and heritage more than anything else produced in the islands. They began weaving it into cloth during the Bronze Age (which is in between the Glitter and the Bedazzled Ages) around 1900 BC.

Wood Panel Skirt Wednesday: This funny skirt spent time in my donate pile before I returned it to my closet. Which, according to The Secret Lives of Hoarders means I have a problem. One of many, I'm sure. sweater: felted by me, DIY here; wood panel skirt: Target, super old; boots: Frye

How is wool made? Why, you looking for a new hobby? Well, okay then, first get yourself a super furry sheep. Or goat, camel, alpaca, llama -- many animals have fur that can produce wool. Then shear them. I'm guessing with a shearing tool like that above, not your Bic razor.

Once the wool is sheared, it must be cleaned and carded. In the painting above, you'll notice the woman is holding two large wooden carding combs. The wool fiber is raked through these combs to alight the fibers of the wool. This makes it easier for spinning the wool into yarn.

I mean, look, doesn't that look so super easy? Can you imagine how precious your possessions would be to you if these were the lengths you had to go to create them? From shearing to carding and spinning and still nothin' to wear. I could have never survived back in the day. It's no wonder their lives were short-lived.

Midway Thursday: On this day our school was hosting a carnival in the evening. I'd never heard a carnival called a "midway" before. I'm curious about the history of that name. I decided my Fulla Hot Air Frock would be appropriate. dress: DIY here; sweater: thrifted; tights: Target: scarf: Urban Outfitters; belt: Anthropologie; shoes: Opposites Attract

Somehow I ended up in the Throw-a-Pie-at-Your-Teacher booth! I was supposed to sit behind that banner and put my head through the hole but that just felt like a cop-out. However, after ending up with stinky whipped cream everywhere, I realized that would have been a pretty good idea.

Weaving Cloth for Battle, 1940. Sadly, the artist is not listed on the website. This would have been every wool fiber factory in the United Kingdom during the war. All normal production ceased to create military uniforms. Clothing and fabric were among the many things rationed during World War II.

Art Museum Saturday: That's right, I skipped Snow Day Friday. Because I was in my pajamas all day! So here's what I wore to the Frist Center for Visual Arts. Only ten of my amazing little artists had their works of art featured there along with the other chosen artists in my school district. It was an exciting day for such hard working artists. suit: vintage, thrifted; tights: Target: shoes: Anthropologie

 Of course, I just can't introduce the United Kingdom and weaving without a nod to the woolen woven kilt. Men have been wearing kilts since the 16th century. The first worn was something called the great kilt which is more of a full length affair. Those featured above are called small kilts or walking kilts. The word kilt means to "tuck up the clothes around the body." I'm thinking this is just what the hubs needs to complete his wardrobe.

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