DIY: A Big Fat Knitted Scarf/Blanket Thingie

 Have you ever found yourself neck-deep in a craft and been like, "Ugh, why am I doing this?! I hate {insert least fave craft here. Like friendship bracelet braiding for zample. Man, I never could get the hang of that. Which was fine cuz I only had, like, two friends growing up and one of them was imaginary. Okay, they both were}." This reminder of my distaste for knitting flared up big time whilst I was in the midst of casting on and promptly de-casting (un-casing? non-casting? whateves) the hot mess that was on my knitting needles. When I finally DID get myself rollin' in the right direction, I was all, "wait, what? Who am I and why am I holding these knitting needles?!" And by that time, well, it was just too late. 

In all seriousness, knitting isn't that bad. I mean, it's great for traveling cuz I feel like I'm all productive and stuff, just knitting away in the passenger seat. Normally, I'm passed out like a drunk sailor when we go road trippin, but while knitting, I'm actually getting something done. Even if that something is creating a Big Fat Knitted Scarf/Blanket Thangie. I mean, seriously, y'all. Have you ever seen a scarf that wanted so badly to be a blanket? I've nicknamed it my Blarf for that very reason. 

So why knit if I dislike it so? Cuz when I visited these precious babies a while back, I bought some alpaca yarn from their owner. I mean, I got to meet the sweet lil girl that the yarn came from and everything! How could I not knit something with that?

And, okay, can I just tell you how very much I love the smell of alpaca wool? I might have a Blarf-sniffing problem. Ima bout to be the next Mary Catherine Gallagher...

'Cept instead of the hands-previously-in-armpits sniffing, I'll be alpaca-Blarf-huffing. Which is prolly equally as weird, I know.

 But really how could something this cute not smell precious? Daw, would you just wook at dat sweet widdle face-y wace-y!

Whilst at the farm, I bought myself three skeins of alpaca wool. On the way home, I scored some cream colored wool at the Joann's, aka where-I-deposit-my-paycheck. I had this Anthropologie throw in mind for my scarf. I loved the stripe-y look and the size of the thing. Just right for a scarf, dontcha think?

The thing really is a monster but that's kinda what I love about it. It's ridiculously large but that's part of the charm, says me. Also, I figured once I get tired of the thing I can simply unravel it. I used a super simple garter stitch (which is the most basic of knit stitches, y'all) because of my limited intelligence. It's good to know your limitations, says moi.

Speaking of Anthropologie, when I was going through their most recent catalog, I totes cracked up at this photo. OMG, this model is SO OVER knitting, y'all. There are so many things that I absolutely love about this photo that I must share them all with you in bullet-y bullet points:

* Obvi this model has never knitted before, right? I mean, would you look at how she's holding those needles? You know the photog was just all, "Hey, hold these needles and act like you're knitting" and the model was all, "Man, I dunno how to knit!" and dude was all, "Me neither! Just hold 'em and look exhausted." BOOM. Nailed it.

* Should we be concerned that this poor girl appears to be housed in someone's woodshed? She appears a little thin and tired looking, albeit exquisitely dressed (thanks, Anthro!). What if she's being held hostage in some rando woodshed in some rando backyard? My neighbor has a shed, y'all. And I have seen him throw balls of yarn into the shed and yell, "Get back to knitting!" before but I never really thought anything of it. Come to think of it, it's prolly nothing.

* I did a little math. Added total cost of that knitting ensemble? $622.56. It costs a lot to look that good whilst not knitting, y'all. 

 Despite the fact that knitting's not my fave, I really REALLY wanna learn how to knit a sweater. Do you guys knit? Can you come over to my woodshed, er, house and teach me your magical knit-witting ways?! 

Oh and speaking of Anthro, that tulle skirt is one I created based on an overpriced version of theirs! You can read about my tulle-making madness here. 

Until next time! Hope y'all have a fantastical knit-free week!