Tuesday, February 3, 2015

DIY: A Big Fat Knitted Scarf/Blanket Thingie


 Have you ever found yourself neck-deep in a craft and been like, "Ugh, why am I doing this?! I hate {insert least fave craft here. Like friendship bracelet braiding for zample. Man, I never could get the hang of that. Which was fine cuz I only had, like, two friends growing up and one of them was imaginary. Okay, they both were}." This reminder of my distaste for knitting flared up big time whilst I was in the midst of casting on and promptly de-casting (un-casing? non-casting? whateves) the hot mess that was on my knitting needles. When I finally DID get myself rollin' in the right direction, I was all, "wait, what? Who am I and why am I holding these knitting needles?!" And by that time, well, it was just too late. 
In all seriousness, knitting isn't that bad. I mean, it's great for traveling cuz I feel like I'm all productive and stuff, just knitting away in the passenger seat. Normally, I'm passed out like a drunk sailor when we go road trippin, but while knitting, I'm actually getting something done. Even if that something is creating a Big Fat Knitted Scarf/Blanket Thangie. I mean, seriously, y'all. Have you ever seen a scarf that wanted so badly to be a blanket? I've nicknamed it my Blarf for that very reason. 
So why knit if I dislike it so? Cuz when I visited these precious babies a while back, I bought some alpaca yarn from their owner. I mean, I got to meet the sweet lil girl that the yarn came from and everything! How could I not knit something with that?
And, okay, can I just tell you how very much I love the smell of alpaca wool? I might have a Blarf-sniffing problem. Ima bout to be the next Mary Catherine Gallagher...
'Cept instead of the hands-previously-in-armpits sniffing, I'll be alpaca-Blarf-huffing. Which is prolly equally as weird, I know.
 But really how could something this cute not smell precious? Daw, would you just wook at dat sweet widdle face-y wace-y!
Whilst at the farm, I bought myself three skeins of alpaca wool. On the way home, I scored some cream colored wool at the Joann's, aka where-I-deposit-my-paycheck. I had this Anthropologie throw in mind for my scarf. I loved the stripe-y look and the size of the thing. Just right for a scarf, dontcha think?
The thing really is a monster but that's kinda what I love about it. It's ridiculously large but that's part of the charm, says me. Also, I figured once I get tired of the thing I can simply unravel it. I used a super simple garter stitch (which is the most basic of knit stitches, y'all) because of my limited intelligence. It's good to know your limitations, says moi.
Speaking of Anthropologie, when I was going through their most recent catalog, I totes cracked up at this photo. OMG, this model is SO OVER knitting, y'all. There are so many things that I absolutely love about this photo that I must share them all with you in bullet-y bullet points:

* Obvi this model has never knitted before, right? I mean, would you look at how she's holding those needles? You know the photog was just all, "Hey, hold these needles and act like you're knitting" and the model was all, "Man, I dunno how to knit!" and dude was all, "Me neither! Just hold 'em and look exhausted." BOOM. Nailed it.

* Should we be concerned that this poor girl appears to be housed in someone's woodshed? She appears a little thin and tired looking, albeit exquisitely dressed (thanks, Anthro!). What if she's being held hostage in some rando woodshed in some rando backyard? My neighbor has a shed, y'all. And I have seen him throw balls of yarn into the shed and yell, "Get back to knitting!" before but I never really thought anything of it. Come to think of it, it's prolly nothing.

* I did a little math. Added total cost of that knitting ensemble? $622.56. It costs a lot to look that good whilst not knitting, y'all. 

 Despite the fact that knitting's not my fave, I really REALLY wanna learn how to knit a sweater. Do you guys knit? Can you come over to my woodshed, er, house and teach me your magical knit-witting ways?! 

Oh and speaking of Anthro, that tulle skirt is one I created based on an overpriced version of theirs! You can read about my tulle-making madness here. 
Until next time! Hope y'all have a fantastical knit-free week!
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17 comments:

  1. I apologize for never commenting on your posts, even though I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM! I follow you because I teach music and art and you have a fabulous art blog for teachers. However, I also know that I will get my funny bone tickled when reading your lines. I had to write today because this post was hilariously written. (Does that make sense?) I mean it had me laughing this morning, good way to start the day.
    I don't knit very often (like once in the past 20 years) but I spin wool because I love the activity. My yarn is all wobbly looking and home-made and I work with unwashed wool because it spins easier and I, too, like the smell!
    Thanks for bringing laughter and fun to my day, Cassie

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    1. Well, thank you so very much for popping by and commenting! Thank you so much for your kind words!

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  2. Anonymous2/04/2015

    You made a Thneed! I love it!

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  3. Anonymous2/04/2015

    If you lived up here in Ontario Canada, you would be mighty thrilled with that big scarf, yall!! It'd do the trick for 20 minutes of recess duty!

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    1. What?! They have recess on cold wintery days in Ontario?! Shoot, we cancel school when it gets down to the single digits. Meanwhile, y'all are prolly outside in shorts, ha!

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  4. OMG Cassie! I was reading your blog while on my lunch break and almost choked from LOL'ing when I got to your BLARF comment. I thought I was going to spit the Lemongrass Chicken all over my desk! Then I had to hold onto my bladder because of your Non-Knitting Anthro model comments. Sadly both our bathrooms are out of order at the office and only one open is the grungy shop bathroom, so I have been holding it for awhile. Can't hold it no more. Thanks so much for the levity during my most boooring day! Love you and your blog. You should be a Craftin' Artsy Stand Up Comedienne! Thanks, Dawn from Cali

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    1. Aw, Dawn, shucks! A Stand Up? I dunno about that. Best stick to bladder bustin' blog posts ;) Glad to liven up your day :)

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  5. P.S. That Alpaca FACE! Sweeeeet!

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  6. So many good things about this post! Love the picture of that cute alpaca girl. Your bullet points are spot on! Wish I could knit...maybe I should learn. Thanks for the laugh this morning :)

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    1. You should totally learn so you can feel my pain ;) Thanks for your sweet words!

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  7. Where did you get your skirt?

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    1. Hey Sarah -- I made it! I wrote about it in this post: http://cassiestephens.blogspot.com/2013/01/diy-anthro-inspired-sweater-and-skirt.html... it's a copy of an Anthro skirt.

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  8. Cassie, I have been visiting your blog for a few months and I just love all your 'art-teacherin' posts- but this post just made me giggle. Seriously- the alpacas, the blarf, the knitting model - I just totally relate. I live in tropical Fiji and I knit anyway, because fibers and yarn (especially alpaca) are just too wonderful not to! No sweaters though- good thing because I'm not sure I have the dedication to spend that much time on one project. :)

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    1. Hi Lindy! So glad you found my blog and that you took the time to comment, thank you! Wow, living in tropical Fiji, that's the life, girl! Yeah, I truly have a love/hate with knitting: Love to pick out and buy the yarn and hate the rest, ha! Thanks for reading :)

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  9. Anonymous7/19/2015

    loool u are so funny. love the post! scarf is gorg! :) x

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Thank you so much for your comments. I appreciate each and every one :)