DIY: Butterick, Who's Yo Mama?

You ever have one of those annoying sensations that just won't go away? You know, like a little tickle in the small of your back that you can't seem to reach or one of those rouge runaway hairs you feel somewhere on your face but you just can't find. OR, this one's the worst, what about a wedgie that manages to get more friendly than a proctologist?

 Oh, oops. Did I just go too far? Or maybe too close to home. I promise I didn't know this post was gonna head south so quickly when I began. My bad.

But I tell you I was going somewhere (other than south) with that there intro. Because this Red Hot Vintage Floral Fabric has been that unreachable itch, that fantom hair, that borderline sexual harassment wedgie all summer long.

Seriously. It started way back in May when I was working on my Star Wars dress. I spied this lovely piece peaking out from my Mount Fujiyama o' Fabric. And it was all, "Hey! Look at me. I'm gorgeous." and I'm like, "Wow, you are pretty sweet. But doncha think calling yourself 'gorgeous' is a little, I don't know, arrogant?" To which the fabric was like, "Look, if you don't think you are up to workin' with somethin' as amazing as me, that's fine. But let's not pretend I wouldn't make a pretty smokin' dress."

And that there sparked the unrelenting urge to find the perfect pattern to marry with this beautiful, albeit a pinch egomaniacal, fabric. 

(BTW, have you noticed just how much time I spend talking to inadament objects? Dunno what I'm talking about? What about here, here and, oh man, here. Geez, I need to get out more. Or start taking my meds. That'd probably help.)

After some serious online pattern digging, I found The Perfect Partner for my Red Hot Vintage Floral. I mean, look at that cut, that detail at the neckline, that big-drapey-hankie-thingie. It was like a match made in sewing heaven.

Then I saw it. The name of the maker at the top of the pattern envelope. And I went all Jerry Seinfeld and spit out the words with such venom and hate that I almost scared myself:

"BUTTERICK!"

That's right. The above is an accurate portrayal of my relationship with Butterick. You might recall my ever-so-slight (ha!) frustration with said pattern-maker here. In fact, I do believe I made that scrunched-up, buck-toothed mouse face complete with Wicked Witch of the West hands more than a dozen times whilst attempting to solve the riddle that is a Butterick pattern. And every time it stared right back at me with those dead-Newman-esque eyes and that smirky smile. Oh, how I loathe thee, Butterick.

(BTW, not that it would ever happen anyway, but I'm almost positive that these blatant Butterick-hatred posts are gonna make it so said pattern-making company never contacts me for an endorsement. Whatcha think?)

My frustration over the vaugeness of the directions became so great that I even started fantasizing about tracking down ole Mrs. B and asking her why, just why were her designs so great and her directions so bad. And then I realized that this pattern is super old and that I'd probably have to find Mrs. Butterick Junior if I wanted any sort of contact with my nemesis. And THEN I realized that she'd probably be just as cryptic with directions to her house (because I wanna see this evil face-to-face...which makes me think I shoulda titled this post "Butterick, WHERE'S Yo Mama?") as her maw was with sewing steps: "Oh, you know. Just drive a while and then turn at that stoplight. The one on that corner. It's a white house. On a street. With a yard. You'll find it if you're not an idiot..."

BUTTERICK!

Or, rather: BUTTERICK, JUNIOR!

One particularly difficult evening whilst attempting that big-drapey-hankie-thingie, I decided to google this pattern and see if anyone out there might have a word of advice (or an address, perhaps). And that's when I found her: Professor Pincushion. In this 80 minute tutorial, she walks you through the entire pattern and explains every single step. It was like the heavens opened up and I could hear the angels sing (which, it turns out, they like to sing G'n'R. I KNOW RIGHT, how rad is that?!) That's not even a joke, she's really that awesome. AND she's got these amazing sparkly gold fingernails that she  uses to accentuate her explanations which I have likened to Glenda the Good Witch. If she were only a set of nails.

Now I gotta admit, I still had to watch her create that big-drapey-hankie-thingie about two or twenty times before I got it. Which made me think that ole Prof Pincush could really make it big if, after a dozen replays, she could just reach her Glenda nails through the screen and do the hard stuff for you. Seriously. Are you listening, Professor? Because if this idea appears in your next tutorial, Ima gonna expect some royalties.

All moaning and groaning aside, I am pretty excited about this dress. Even with help, this pattern definitely was a challenge that put my severe lack of skills to the test. I still can't believe I managed to pull it off. With a whole lotta thanks to Professor Pincushion. And now that that annoying wedgie is finally released (ewww, sorry! But I had to do some sort of tie in with the beginning of this post. It's called Closure, reader. Deal wit it), I've two other dress-itches that I gotta scratch. Both involve amazing art-teachery fabric that I'm super stoked about. AND speaking of Super Stoked...

Me and my nutty outfits have found their place in SchoolArts Magazine! If you are an art teacher, then you know this is one of the best art education mags out there. AND, if you found this blog because of the magazine, welcome! I promise this blog is normally about much more than wedgies (haha, no it's not). For diy-details on the outfits above, just click on the following linky-loos: Applique Pencil Skirt; Gnome Dress; Embroidered Eiffel Tower; Paris Dress; Painterly Dress; and, lastly, Crayon Felted Hat and Skirt (with painted shoes!).

Stay tuned for some upcoming photos of my nearly complete art room!

Read more »

What the Art Teacher Wore #67

Sunny Yellow Monday: So I've been hitting the local hardware/plant place recently (because as a serial flower killer, I find it a sound investment) and I've noticed something: there's a lot of old dudes workin' there. And, it turns out, old dudes are fascinated by retro-dressin' chics. Not in a creepy "I'll-show-you-where-the-tools-are,-honey,-heh-heh" kind of way. More like an "aw-my-mother/girlfriend/wife-used-to-dress-like-you,-heh-heh" (sorry, in my mind, all old dudes end their sentences that way). Which kinda makes me wonder...in twenty years when the "retro" look means wearing a vintage Hooters uniform, will the old dudes be like, "Aw, I remember when classy ladies used to wear thick-a** nylons under their construction-worker-orange shorty shorts, heh-heh" and then off they'll go to satisfy their sudden and unexpected wings craving? dress: vintage Swirl dress, picked up in St. Louis; shoes: Target, last summer; giant flower: just a fake one I glued to a clip after I changed out of my Hooters uniform

Hi! I'll have you know that since last chatting with you, no one has been sliced, diced or tampon'ed. Aw, don't look disappointed. I've got a month and a half left of summer vacation. I'm almost positive I'll be short a limb by the time I return (geez, if that really does happen then this will suddenly become The Most Awkward Post Ever. And we shall never speak of it again.)

So I thought I'd change it up a bit and share with you random photos from my week. I don't have Instagram but I do have A-Day-Or-Two-Later-Cam. Which is even better because I don't have to look at that amazing vintage find of yours or that totally stunning bouquet of flowers your boyfriend gave you (both of which I am sharing here. You're welcome). I've got a couple new DIY's coming up this week so make sure to pop back in and say hello (I've been hearing a lot from you lately and it totally makes my day!). And the next time you're ordering the wings at Hooters, tell 'em Cassie sent ya!

My amazing bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend. Who happens to be in kindergarten. But whateves, he's got good taste in the ladies and the orchids, so I'll take him.

Slice and Dice Tuesday: So if you've not heard the ridiculous story of my foot injury, go here. It's worth the read because it will totally enlighten you on the thinking of the dimwitted. Added bonus: you'll feel better about yourself and your obviously advanced intelligence. dress: made by me; shoes: ugh, Crocs.

Oh, lookie, a sneak peak. I started working on a new painting for the kitchen that I can't wait to finish off, hang up and share with you. It's very paint-by-numbers with out the numbers. Because they confuse me.

Wednesday, Unlimited: You'll never guess in a million years where I got this dress. The Limited. Yes, seriously. When's the last time you went to The Limited? For me, I believe it was back in '91 and I picked up a pair of Madonna-style trousers (you know the ones she paired with her bullet bra back in the Vogue days. I opted out of said bullet bra. Not enough ammo to fill it). My teacher neighbor at school, who always looks adorable, recently shared a photo of herself wearing the cutest dress. When I jokingly (sorta) said I was going to break into her house in the middle of the night and steal that dress (I was giving fair warning, I don't know what the problem was), she quickly informed me that she got the dress at The Limited. I immediately zipped over, found the dress and scooped up this one as well. So, where's the so-good-Ima-gonna-attempt-burglary-and-possible-jail-time dress? I'll show ya next week.

Can you freakin' believe this fabric?! Dude, I am so excited. I've got big plans to create what I imagine will be the most perfect pair of barbeque dresses even though hubs and I don't barbeque nor do we ever get invited to such things. Because vegetarians at barbeques suck. Regardless, I have a feeling these dresses, once created, will be more than welcome. Even if the dress is all, "Yeah, sorry about the person in the dress. She demanded to come," eye roll and sigh.

Hello, Neighbor, Thursday: You know, getting a photo of what you wear everyday is taxing. Especially when you attempt to do it in your front yard and the neighbors, who already think you are nutz, see you. But I do it for you. Now that's dedication, people. sweater: Target, old; dress: vintage, The Hip Zipper

Whatcha see here is my recent estate sale loot. It's become my Friday ritual to grab a buddy and hit as many sales as possible before noon. My favorite score of the day are those little doll dresses and that hand-knitted Anthropologie-esque sweater. Or maybe it's those mini-leather gloves. Possibly that dress with the blue daisies?...I just can't decide.

Free Tree Friday: Before I get to the tree, can we have a moment's chat about this dress? Because I lurve it. I ventured into a thrift store that I don't often frequent and there she was. This sweet little Anthro dress for a mere $10. I got all excited and started chatting with the lady at the rack next to me saying, "look at this dress! Isn't it amazing?!" Unfortunately, my new friend, who only needed to share in my enthusiasm with a high five, decided to become my personal shopper. Which woulda been great had her idea of my taste not involved vintage Jaclyn Smith. She was sweet for tryin', bless her heart (which, in the South, can mean many-a-thing. In this case, it's "get that Kathy Ireland frock away from me!") dress: thrifted, Anthro; belt: Pin Up Girl Clothing; box purse: vintage Enid Collins, ebay; necklace: Target, old

Me standing in front of a tree trunk. Like, literally. A trunk o' tree. Not too long ago, a coupla friends and I volunteered to help create the new window display at Anthropologie. It was so much fun. They served cookies, parfaits and mimosas. We skipped the snacks and instead drank our way through the crafting. Much to their dismay, I'm almost certain. In the midst of all our merry-making, it was asked what would become of the current cherry tree display. We were told that it was going to be given away to a good home. My buddy piped up that I was an art teacher that would love to have the tree...and, a week later, here we are with a mammoth tree in the trunk.

Dude, look at it. It's huge! I'm so excited to put it up...and it's totally getting me inspired and excited for the new school year. But I've still not settled on a theme. So! I'm asking you, whatcha got? Do you have any tree-themed book suggestions (please don't say The Giving Tree as I can't get through that book without crying which makes the kids super uncomfortable)? Art project ideas? Artist suggestions? Thanks in advance, I appreciate you doing my homework for me.

Chat with you soonish!

Read more »

DIY // In the Art Room: Making Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins Outfit details: bag, skirt and ruffly blouse: vintage, thrifted; sweater and boots: Buffalo Exchange; gloves and hat: vintage, gift from a friend; umbrella and red necktie: made by me

Why, hello thar! 'Tis I, wannabe Mary Poppins, practically (im)perfect in every way! Like many schools, mine celebrated Read Across America week with a "dress like a storybook character" day. Because we are currently learning about all things United Kingdom and I'm reading Mary Poppins to my second and fourth graders, deciding who I would dress like was as easy as taking my meds with a spoonful of sugar. Even if I did wanna dress as Sherlock Holmes for a could coupla days. But I didn't think my pipe-puffing would go over well with those party-poopin' principals in my building. So Mary 'twas!

Whilst dressed as Mary, I tried my very best to keep my faux-British accent going as long as I could. We do this little routine in my room where the kids repeat the art directions after me. For kicks we tried out our best Brit accents and the kids loved it. I'm sure that if any actual British folk heard our southern accents attempting to copy theirs, they'd spit up their tea and biscuits.

 Fave Mary moment...and how I foresee my classroom evaluation going when my aforementioned non-pipe-smoking principal drops in to witness kids -n- clay:

Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?

Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?

Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?

Mary Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.

Mr. Banks: Yes?

Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.

The thing my outfit was lacking was the famous parrot-headed brolly. You just can't be Mary Poppins without it. But where to find such a thing? I decided that I'd just have to make my own. I sent out an umbrella email request to the fabulous teachers at my school and within minutes I had my mitts on a lovely wooden handled umbrella.

As soon as I got home, I busted out the tin foil and started sculpting the parrots head. I was too impatient to mess with the masking tape portion of 'mache'ing so I hopped straight to the covering-in-sticky-newspaper part. I'd later come to regret this (like so many things in my life) as it prevented me from having a smooth surface for my bird.

After taking what seemed like days to dry, I painted him with acrylic paints and used an image from pinterest as my inspiration. Laziness prevented me from giving him a coat of Modge Podge. Someday, when my laziness takes a holiday, I'll get to that step.

Ack! Giant parrot eye! In some photos, the tip of the parrots beak is white so I painted mine as such. One of my principal ladies said it looked like his nose was chipped. Some people just don't know.

More from the best movie on the planet...Parrot Umbrella: Awk, that's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye? Mary Poppins: No, they didn't. Parrot Umbrella: Look at them! You know, they think more of their father than they do of you! Mary Poppins: That's as it should be. Parrot Umbrella: Well, don't you care? Mary Poppins: Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking. Parrot Umbrella: Is that so? Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary Poppins: you don't fool me a bit! Mary Poppins: Oh, really? Parrot Umbrella: Yes, really. I know exactly how you feel about these children, and if you think I'm going to keep my mouth shut any longer, I'll...
[she clamps his mouth shut] Mary Poppins: That will be quite enough of that, thank you.

Time for tea! Anyone for a cuppa?

All week, leading up to the arrival of Mary Poppins, my classes enjoyed a spot of tea and biscuits. I brought in some of my vintage table clothes and fancified one small area of my otherwise disastrous art room. I brewed each class a pot of tea (apple, peach and mint) and picked up some shortbread cookies and tea biscuits from the store. One kind UK blogger (thanks, Jerra!) informed me that I needed to serve my tea with "lumps" (sugar cubes) and I'd have to say, the kids liked that the best.

Pinkies out, dearies!

Of course, I just had to bring in my small collections of Mary Poppins records. Thankfully our librarian still had one of these ancient bad boys on hand.

Most of my students had never seen a record player before (shoot, they find the tape player on my CD player fascinating) and I found several of them with their noses right up to the spinning record like this young dude.

In my crazy closet, I had almost the perfect coat and scarf to complete my Poppins look. I thrifted the brown coat a while ago and the scarf is an old number from the Gap.

And, would you believe, the most magical thing happened! This weekend, hubs and I took a short trip to Walt Disney World and Epcot in Orlando. On our final day there, while walking through the Great Britain portion of Epcot, I ran into none other than Mary Poppins herself. Here she is asking me if I keep my students in "spit spot shape". Please don't ask me what's going on with my hair.

An even rarer occurrence: Me, in jeans!

From Mary and I, we wish you a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious week. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Sherlock!

Read more »

DIY: Skirtin' the Issue

Dude, I'll have ya know that I suffered at nearly freezing temps to snap these photos. My goosebumps had goosebumps. Only a cup of hot tea and quality time with the space heater made it so I could feel my toes again.

 I am in a particularly fragile state. Since Monday evening, my life has been an emotional roller coaster from hopeful, to elated, then surprised, disappointed, hurt and just plain angry. I am on the road to recovery but it's been a very difficult week.

What could have caused so much headache and heartache in my life over the past couple of days? What could have possibly had me crossing my fingers, gnashing my teeth and shaking my fist at the sky above?

The possibility of a Snow Day that never came.

 It started Monday night when there was the chance of an ice storm. I had to scrap a thick layer of ice from my car after school and I just knew it was a sign. Our Snow-Day-Soothsayin' Custodian even confirmed my thoughts with a cheery, "I'll see you Wednesday since we'll be out Tuesday!" When I got home that night, I plotted and planned my DIYs for the next day. This here skirt was one of 'em.

 You might remember this pattern. I first featured it in my short list of New Years resolutions as being a new pattern I'd like to try. I'm not a fan of the vest (the pattern calls it a weskit) and I'm most def not doin' nuthin with sleeves right now. But I just knew that skirt would be the Jerry McGuire to my wardrobe and I also just knew I'd have all day Tuesday to complete it.

 But no. To school we went. However, at the end of the day, they sent us home a half an hour early because an ice storm was supposedly on it's way. I was even more hopeful this time around and decided to get a jump start on this DIY by cutting out the pattern pieces. I used this giant piece of fabric I picked up at Urban Outfitters years ago. They were selling it as a bed spread and I scored it for a mere $9. It looks to me like a Tammis Keefe design (whose vintage fabric reproductions I've used here and here). 

 But once again, the weather failed to produce. Sigh. After all of that torture, I just came to the realization that I wasn't going to get my day. So last night I attacked this dress with the determination to knock it out. Snow Day or no Snow Day, I was going to make this skirt. Even if I stayed up entirely too late and paid for it dearly today.

Asha the Photo Bomber. Look at her not paying the least bit of attention to me and my latest creation. Her thought processes are focused solely on: Squirrel! Bird! Did You Just Drop Cheese on the Floor?! Squirrel!

 Now when I say "knock it out", that kinda implies that I was just able to whip this skirt up in no time. Oh no. Nothing in Sewing City comes easily for me. Especially with directions written in vintage speak. I got as far as the waistband when the directions simply said, "Put in waistband." No how-to or step-by-step just put in waistband. What, by waving my wand? Cuz that didn't work on the Snow Day so I know it's not gonna do me any good on el waistbando.

So I youtubed it. That's right, I just typed in "sew in a waistband" and some marvelous lady named Professor Pincushion held my hand and walked me through the process in 20 minutes flat. I am in love with youtube tutorials. I'm almost certain I could remove my own kidney with the right tute. Now if only I could find the one titled "Bringing Snow to Middle Tennessee."

 Hey, would you look at that pretty little machine! It's an addition to my Brother sewing machine fam, my Brother serger. I was thrilled to see it already threaded so I used it as is straight out of the box to finish my seams and hems. Doesn't that look nice? Kinda makes me feel like a Big Girl Sewer. Which I couldn't be further from.

 Outfit Details: faux fur collar: Christmas present from a follow Hoosier; birdie sweater, green fishnets, burnt orange tights: Target; white collared blouse: as seen in the other photos, gift from my mom in law; pearl necklace: gift from a friend; belt: Pin Up Girl; shoes: Softt; crinoline: Pre-Post Modern, Nashville

So, okay. I didn't need that Snow Day after all to be productive and scratch this resolution off my list. And, honestly, there is so much fun stuff happening in the art room right now (more on that next week, I hope!) that I'd hate to miss out. I mean, if we'd been out, I wouldn't have had this convo with a third grade boy today:

TGB: Mrs. Stephens, how did you get your skirt so puffy?

Me: I have something called a crinoline under my skirt. It's like a ballerina's tutu.

TGB: Why would you wear a tutu?

Me: To make my skirt puffy. When your grandmother was younger, she probably wore one under her skirts and dresses too. 

TGB: Oh. So it's an old people thing. Okay.

Yeah. That's it. 

Until we chat again, enjoy Friday and your week's end!

Read more »