DIY: The Zipper Blowout

"Vintage 911, please state your emergency." ..."Well, aside from the fact that my hair is beginning to get so long that it's resembling Cousin It (sorry, still stuck in that Horror Flick Phase), I believe I just blew out my zipper! Please send help (and hair clippers) right away!"

Have you ever found yourself in a dress (and guys, if you have, you are welcome here) that was a little, um, snuggish? And when in said dress, did you ever take a deep breath and hear that horrific pop! of a button or nightmarish rrriiiip! of a seam? This has happened to me in too-tight, no-room-for-stretch, Spanx-ain't-gonna-save-you-now vintage more times that I'd like to admit. I feel like The Hulk bustin' loose of my garb but without those fab pectoral muscles and that delightfully green skin.

This beauty was found at the thrift store. Half off. I know, right! So that totally justifies the old lady I pushed out of the way and the toddler I booty bumped, right?

Ah. Look at this dress, would you? I mean, it's just divine. The Thrift Store Gods were good to me on this day. However, the Waist Line Demons were not. Their temptation of Jeni's Goat Cheese and Berry Ice Cream has been too great for this weak mortal. And, thus, The Zipper Blowout.

To be fair to my ice-cream-lovin'-waistline, the zipper did look like this when I purchased the dress. I think. Regardless, it had to come out. As heavenly as this dress is, a Holy, ahem, a Whole-y zipper just won't do.

Now putting in zippers used to be my least favorite thing, right after squeezing into Spanx and busting out of vintage, but I've since found a way to do it that's relatively pain-free. So I thought I'd share it with you. The thrifted vintage dress is handmade and a wee bit of a mess so I thought I'd demo with my Horror Flick Dress. 

Step 1: Set your sewing machine to a baste stitch. That means you are going to have very long, temporary stitches. Baste stitch the fabric together 5/8" away from the seam from the top of there the zipper will be placed to the bottom. Iron seam open like shown above.

 Step #2: Once you have ironed the seam open, lay your zipper on the open seam.

Step #3: For my dress, I tucked the top of the zipper in between the fabric to hide it and make it so the zipper reached the top of the dress.

Step #4: Align the zipper on the open seam.

Step #5: And tape it down on open seam with Scotch tape.

Step #6: With tape still on the dress, turn the dress right side out. Change your sewing foot to a zipper foot (not sure which is the zipper foot? Read that neglected manual. I promise your machine came with a zipper foot. It should be shaped like the letter "I".) Change your setting from a basting stitch to a sewing stitch (which means your stitches will be shorter and more permanent). Sew 1/4" away from the basting seam.

Step #7: Don't forget to sew across the bottom of the zipper with a teeny tiny little stitch as seen on the left. Turn the garment inside out. Start the fun process of picking off the tape.

Step #8: Turn garment right side out. Using a seam ripper carefully remove basting stitches. Once complete, you have installed your zipper! I'd give you a high five, but I don't want you smacking the life outta your fancy ipad. Goodness knows my uber chic Compaq can't handle it.

And there you have it. Fixing a Zipper Blowout. Piece of cake. Which I won't be having anytime soon in this teeny (can't breathe!) tiny (I think I'm gonna pass out!) dress (you call this a dress?! I call this a Medieval Gut-Squeezing Torture Device!).

Vintage 911 Update: Thank you so much with your help on my last Vintage 911. I asked for suggestions on removing the stain from my dress and I got so much great advice (none of which I've taken but that's besides the point). Jenny of The Southern Institute and Casey over at Casey's Elegant Musings both suggested Oxiclean. I also had advice on trying Windex, Dreft and Flortex Carpet Cleaner. And, if all else fails, fellow art teacher Phyl suggested applique. A girl after my own heart.

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DIY: Floral Embroidery

So, do you remember that floral embroidery sneak-peak I shared with you here? Well, I finally finished it! But if you want to read more, you'll have to head over to one of my favorite blogs, The Little Red Squirrel.

Sweet Katie, the creative mind behind The Little Red Squirrel, is on vacation in Paris (I had to photoshop my green-with-envy face) and asked me if I wouldn't mind being a guest blogger for her. I shared with her readers my floral embroidery DIY. I do hope you'll take a look and add her blog to your blog reader, it's fantastic!

And thanks again, Katie, it was a delight. Enjoy your holiday!

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DIY: Cardigan/Scarf

I told you I was on a floral kick. I've got Begonias and herbs growing in these pots. Fingers crossed my notoriously black thumbs don't kill these guys.

From the creator of the Blarf, that's scarf-to-blouse, and the Skankie, the hankies-to-skirt creation, I now bring you the Scarfigan!

Er, Cardiarf.

 Scardiarf?

Oh, it's a cardigan that I sewed a scarf onto. Call it what you like.

Sorry for the face.  I blame my mother. The problem with pinning a flower to your sweater is it confuses the insects. This is one of the few non-swatting and screaming photos.

Today's To-Do List said the following:

1. Go for a run.
2. Clean the garage.
3. Organize closets.

I wrote that list last night. When I read it this morning, I thought, "that's the dumbest thing I've ever read." So instead I did this:

1. Got out my vintage scarves.
2. Threw them on the floor.
3. Made a cup of tea.

This is Asha. But she has many other alias...aliases...aliai...she got a lot of names. Among them: Jango, Bo-bo, Chubby Girl, Jabba, and Brittany. Okay, I made that last one up.

When I came back, I found this. No matter what I'm working on, there's a certain furry someone that always has to lay near it, across it or on it. Currently, that thing is my typing arm. But who could deny that furry widdle face?

I got the idea in my head that instead of cleaning the garage, what I really needed to do was sew a vintage scarf onto the back of some long-forgotten, rarely-worn cardigan. It was really pretty simple. Here's how I did it:

1. Using the zig-zag setting, I sewed around the back of the sweater, following the back panel. I did this because I don't have a serger and I wanted a finished edge to prevent unraveling.
2. I pinned a vintage silk scarf over the back panel (notice I've not cut into the back of the sweater yet). Because the silk is so thin, it was easy to just tuck under and pin into place.
3. Using a top stitch, I sewed the scarf to the cardi.
4. I removed the pins and carefully cut the sweater out staying close to the zigzag line. The tricky part was NOT cutting into the scarf. Which, of course, I did. Not cool. 
5. And...viola! Finished Scardiarf! Doesn't that sound like a dish served by The Swedish Chef?

"What do you think, Jungle Cruise?" ... blank stare. I get that a lot.

So there you have it. And it didn't even take me, The World's Slowest Crafter, that long. Which meant that I had plenty of time to reread To-Do List #1 and revisit my options.

And I decided that my initial reaction was true: That's the dumbest thing I've ever read.

So I went antique shopping for vintage hankies instead. I wish I were making that up. But I'm not. I'll show you what I did with them soon.

On a side note, I thought I'd share this great photo with you. Do you know who this amazingly creative and spectacularly tacky (and I say what with great respect) woman is? This is Enid Collins, purse designer from the 1960's. I recently discovered her creations and was so excited to score one of my own recently on ebay.

Since the backyard proved to be an insect hazard, I thought I'd try the front. Except I kept tripping over the stairs in order to beat the camera timer. Oui. I am really the last person that should be blogging!

Goodbye, Grungy Garage and Cluttery Closets, Mama's got shoppin' to do. Outfit details: dress: vintage, thifted; belt and flower: H&M; shoes: Frye, TJMaxx; bag: Enid Collins, ebay; scardiarf: originally from Target, DIY'ed by me.

I hope you go out and avoid your To-Do List today as well! Thanks for reading.

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DIY: Conquering the Dynasty Dress

At the Hollywood Drive-In Golf at Universal Studios. I loved their putt putt courses which were based on 1950's B-movies. This one was called The Haunting of Ghostly Green.

While in Memphis last weekend, I was taken to a gem of a place called Park Avenue Thrift. And while it was far from being even remotely Park Avenue-esque, we did make a new friend (one whom attempted to try on her size 20 bathing suit over her clothes, asked us what we thought and paid the cashier with a wad of wet cash brandished from her bra). I also found this lovely floral dress.

Before hacking into the dress, I thought I'd give it one last hurrah in all of it's shoulder-pad, big-hair-with-bow, blue-eye-shadow, and-pointy-shoe glory.

As soon as I slipped the dress on, I immediately had images of Dynasty pop into my head. The shoulder pads were mammoth. It's no wonder we did our hair up so big in the eighties. If we didn't, we'd look like a shrunken head between those pillow-sized pads.

As a kid, my cousin, my aunt and I used to watch Dynasty, Falcon Crest and Dallas curled up with my grandma in her bed. The plot was over our heads so we usually had our noses stuck in some Sweet Valley High book.

More pictures from the putt putt. I've not putt putted in ages and we had so much fun. If you've not been lately, I say go.

So, here's a breakdown of how I conquered the Dynasty Dress:

• Removal of shoulder pads. But I didn't trash them. They'll come back in style someday, right?
• Removal of 8" from the hemline. I mean really. It was like a floral parachute.
• Addition of yellow scalloped collar. Seen best in the final photo.
• Removal of belt. I love it, but you can't see it. So I am wearing my bow belt instead.
• Addition of matching sandals. I used the excess fabric to create the straps for my Sseko sandals. If you are not familiar with Sseko, you might want to check them out.

Another show we watched with grandma as kids. I always thought of my grandma as being like Dixie Carter's Julie Sugarbaker. Doesn't Charlene look like she's wearing my floral dress?

It's not the biggest dress overhaul but this one didn't really need it. I was sold on the full skirt, the floral and the pockets. It just needed some de-eighties-izing.

Dynasty Dress, consider yourself conquered, bwahaha.

When I asked hubs what he thought of the end result, he said, "It's nice. It looks like an Easter dress. That's the look you were going for, right?"

Erm, yeah. And that's the last time I let him win at putt putt. Enjoy your weekend!

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DIY: Lovey Dovey

My completed yarn-wrapped heart now hangs over the mirror in my foyer. I hate that word, foyer. Makes me sound so fancy. But it sounds better than "front entrance" which is what I initially typed.

I am not, nor have I ever been, and I predict I won't ever be, sappy. When I lose my Burt's Bees, I become chappy; with a tiny amount of wine, I am slaphappy; and my middle-aged lady arms are starting to look flappy; but sappy is not a word that would describe me. Lovey-dovey, mushy, huggy-kissy sweet stuff kinda makes my skin craw, my eyes roll toward the back of my head and my finger make a gagging motion down my throat.

Supplies: Styrofoam heart and pink yarn: Hobby Lobby; baker's twine: Anthopologie, last Christmas; buttons and paper measuring tape: from my stash; vintage photos: from my mom

However, this is not all my fault. I inherited the unsappy gene from my mother. Case in point: If I tell her I lover her, more often than not, I'm greeted with a "whatever." It's just not in us to give a sap. 

So it's kinda funny that I decided to spruce up the pad for Valentine's Day. Honestly, it's because I had so much fun decorating for Christmas, that I didn't want to stop. Never mind that the floors haven't been swept in years and that the laundry is a 6' mountain of funky smells, look! I made a yarn wrapped heart!

Are they not the cutest? My mom brought me a stash of old family photos, some of people neither of us knew. Doesn't it look like he's tickling her ear and she's trying to stop him? I wonder where they are now.

And it was really easy to make. If you've been on pinterest for a millisecond, you've seen yarn-wrapped wreaths. I made one at Christmas...but this one was a wee bit trickier because of the points in the heart. If you've never tried it before, here's how I went about it: tie yarn around styro wreath and wrap yarn around it. That's it! When I came to the points in the heart, I plugged in my hot glue gun and glued in strips of yarn to fill in the gaps. It's really the easiest and most mundane craft ever. 

Another nunno-who-they-are photo from my collection. I love how she's on her tiptoes in her sweet loafers...and is he coping a feel?

When I was finished with that, the fuschia heart was rather boring. So I decided to add some blue striped  baker's twine which I double knotted in the back. I backed the photos onto matte board and hot glued the board to the frame so as not to ruin the photos. The vintage buttons were hot glued on as well. I had initially used a black ribbon to hang the heart but it seemed too domineering. I swapped it out for the paper measuring tape. In all, it looks pretty crafty, but that's okay by me. It'll do for the month of Feb.

Right under the yarn-wrapped-heart mirror in the foyer is a little table with this display. My collection of vintage children's books comes from the throw-away pile at in my school's library.

These little cupid houses have actually been up since Christmas. As if you couldn't tell. I've decided that the hearts on top of them mean I can leave them out just a pinch longer. Again, this idea was pulled from pinterest.

If you have access to clay and a kiln, here's how I created these: for the trunk, place a texture down on your table. I used a large stamp that had a wood grain design. Place the clay on top of the stamp and flatten it with a rolling pin. Remove clay from stamp and roll into a tube shape. For the roof, lay a different textured surface onto your workspace. I like to use vintage lace. Repeat the step of flattening the clay. Now, instead of forming a tube, roll clay into a waffle cone shape. Slip and score to the top. Add details and, viola! A house for cupid!

My Valentine garland. The easiest craft ever.

This is the last of my Valentine's decor, I swear. If I do anymore, my anti-sap status is sure to drop greatly. This here Valentine's garland was the easiest to make. My school has one of the Edison die cut thingies. I die cut some of my scrap booking paper (picked up a JoAnn's)  that I thought might compliment the colors of my living room. Which, as you can see, is just black and white. Easy to match.

If you've never sewn before, this is the project for you. When I got my first sewing machine about 6 years ago, I started by sewing paper. There's no fear in "messing up" and ruining expensive fabric. For this, I just pushed the heart through the machine. To make the blank space, I just continued to pull the heart so the machine would keep intertwining the two threads. Once the space was long enough, I fed the bird through the machine. Simple, right?

So, there you go. Valentine's decor for the un-Lovey Dovey set. I keep thinking to the next holiday I can decorate for...which is St. Patrick's Day, I believe. Nothing is coming to mind. Except to leave my little clay houses out just one more holiday and call 'em Leprechan Houses. That'll work, right?

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DIY: Back to Blogging!

 The above photo was taken this past July when I finished quilting a chevron pattern that I used to cover an ottoman.

Hi, there. I know, it's been a while. A year or three. But I've got the urge to start blogging again. I've really missed it, mostly because I like the idea of documenting what I'm doing. I don't keep a diary or a sketchbook so this is the closest thing I've got to remembering what I've been up to. I've got a terrible memory (which I seriously attribute to the consumption of too many Diet Cokes. It's the devil's nectar, people) and I'm pretty lazy so I'm hoping this will hold me accountable. And keep me off the streets.

I used this very easy chevron pattern found here...http://www.quilterscache.com/C/ChevronBlock.html.  I picked up the 4" foam from JoAnn's and a wooden board and legs purchased at Lowe's as the base.

 Over the summer, I decided to recover my homemade ottoman with a chevron pattern. I found this insanely easy pattern online (please don't let the cheesy outdated website fool you) and whipped this bad boy up. Maybe it's just me, but I'm still happy when I see it. Especially now that we've moved a couch into the room and it makes for a pretty awesome footstool. So I got it in my head that I could quilt. Me. Quilt. Haha, I'm so delusional.

Image from that dangerous temptress of a store that goes by the name http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/index.jsp. Has anyone hit their sales lately? I went on Black Friday, and as a buddy of mine said "I absolutely lost all sense of reason." 50% off sale items? Then, yes, I do need a feather and shell encrusted clutch in the shape of a hedgehog.

 Being the quilting expert that I am, I decided that I could quilt the incredible Navajo-meets-Chevron pattern as seen on the above anthro rug. Without a pattern. Or any idea how to make it happen. And with 1" squares. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I was planning on covering another ottoman. One that just happens to be 80" in length. Yeah. So I got this far...

And I just had to stop. Because I was becoming homocidal. I was working with linen because it's so stinking pretty but not a great quilting fabric. The weave in linen is big and tends to unravel easily. And I'm the worst at math so, as you can see, my edges just weren't matching up. I did more seam ripping and cursing than I did sewing. Finally a voice of reason (ahem, hubs) told me that maybe I should reconsider.

And so I have. What I love so much about the chevron pattern is the optical illusion effect. A tumbling blocks pattern has an even stronger effect so I've decided to give it a shot. I actually am going to sketch this one out as the pattern is difficult for my little brain. And I'm going to dedicate some of my blog posts to the making of it to hopefully hold myself accountable. Wish me luck!

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