You ever find yourself watching those amazingly terrible infomercials where you're all, "who would buy that?!" only to get sucked in a little further to discover that the 'mercial is speaking directly to you and that product they're pitching could quite possibly solve all of your life's problems? For example, how about the Better Marriage Blanket which, with it's activated-carbon fabric, a material "used by the military to protect against chemical weapons", can put an end to the silent and deadly problems which reek, er, wreak havoc in otherwise happy marriages? Or what about the Rejuvenique Electrical Facial Mask, which closely resembles Jason's Friday the 13th hockey get-up, but packs a nine-volt battery electrical shock punch to those pesky wrinkles. I just know in my heart of hearts that with 5 easy payments of $39.99, my life would be perfection, right?
Such is kinda the story of my life in the art room. I see a problem, I dream up some incredibly perfect way to fix it and...it either turns out shockingly bad (like my facial mask) or super stinky (shoulda went for the blanket). However, in this here post, I wanted to spare you the stink and share with you the (so-far) successes. So here's a list of some new things I'm trying and enjoying in the art room this year. Enjoy and puh-lease let me know what new things you are giving a go this school year. Shake Weight Paint Brush, perhaps...?
I CanStatements. In my neck of the woods, my students are to be told several times just what it is they are learning and what it is they'll be accomplishing. I'm also supposed to tie that in to the state standards and put it in kid friendly terms. So just to the left of the bulletin board seen in the top photo is this miniature dry erase display of their current I Can's along with the permanent standards. When the children enter my room, they walk along a line I have taped to the floor. When the first student has reached the end of the tape and all have entered the art room, I have the students repeat their daily I Can's after me. This helps us all to focus and puts an end to the question, "What are we doing today?!"
Time Timer. I have Art Teachers Hate Glitter to thank for this. She made mention of using this in her art room and I was excited to try it out. With 30 minutes for art making, I am always watching the clock and I am also always losing track of time. More often than I'd like to admit, one class is cleaning up while I have another class walking in (at which point we play the "Let's Watch the Other Class Clean Up and See How Well They Do" Game...which is a totally boring game and Milton Bradley ain't going to be making a version anytime soon).
My students love this thing. In fact, when they walk in and take a seat on the floor, if one of them notices I've not set the time, they'll ask to do it for me. As time moves on, the red pie gets smaller and finally ends with a loud beep of the alarm. This has become our signal to clean up. What I love about this is that the children have become more aware of time management. You can find the Time Timer here.
See, Think, Wonder. After repeating our I Can statements at the door, I'll often pick a student to "be the teacher." This student will sit in my chair and discuss a work of art I have on my easel. The work of art will often be created by our Artist of the Month. The "teacher" is to ask the children "What do you See?" (note the camera icon) and they are to respond like they would with me, by raising their hand. After speaking with a couple of children the teacher can then move on to "What do you Think?" (lightbulb) and "What do you Wonder?" (question mark). This game is great because it buys me a little time to get supplies out on tables and it allows me to pre assess students knowledge, thoughts and questions about a work of art.
Also on my board I have my I Can statements posted again for their viewing pleasure. By the way, the display on the right was created with the children's messy mats and a poster from Target.
Good Music. My husband and I love going to theme parks because they are magical. And I want my art room to be a magical place in the school. With all that often goes on in a half an hour, it's hard to stop and make a magical moment happen for the children. So good music helps. This amazing CD has been on constant rotation in the art room. It's calming, quiet, recognizable and, well, magical. Next on my music wishlist is the Star Wars soundtrack.
Choose Your Own Adventure. Did you all read Choose Your Own Adventure books when you were kids? I loved them. If you are not familiar, you read a short chapter and at the conclusion, you can decide, as in the case of this book, if you A. Want to invade a monastery, B. Go on a Viking raid or C. Fight in a Viking battle. From there, the book takes you on a wonderful adventure of your choosing. I've been reading this to my fourth grade students (I've deemed it inappropriate for those younger due to Viking violence) and it has sparked so much creativity with their Viking drawings. As a class, we vote on the adventures we go on. Even in my short 30 minutes, I can manage to read a couple of adventures. There is an enormous library of these books on amazon. In fact, just today I purchased Ninja and Samurai adventure tales. The kids are thrilled.
Snap Snap WOOOSH. I suck at clean up procedures. There. I said it. Mostly cuz we're running late. However, with the Time Timer keeping track, we are getting better. Our new procedure is that when you hear the alarm, you clean. Once your table is clean with everything put in it's correct spot (having a mini trash can on the table as seen on the right in the photo above really helps) and all of the students are standing behind their pushed in chair, they count down at their table and collectively snap their fingers and give me the "Snap! Snap! WHOOSH!" with a wave motion of their arms. They are to only do this once (otherwise they will do it repeatedly and drive me nutz) at which point I'll check their table for neatness. If they are good, I send them to line up. If not, they are asked to continue cleaning and give me the signal again when they are ready. So far...it's working out pretty well.
Art Class Homework. They asked for it, I swear! In fact, they can get pretty grumpy when I don't have anything for them. So once a week, I'm making art homework available for the taking. My plan is to tie it in with our artist of the month and see just what they come up with. Once the art work is returned to me, we look at it and recognize those young artists at the beginning of class. I'm plotting a way to display these hard workers efforts and I'll share it with you soon.
Personally, I think an Ice Cream Dress is a FANTASTIC idea...and has given me lots of food for thought...so to speak.
And there you have it! Okay, you're turn...what are you doing in your art room that works? And if I Act Now! can I please get it for just 3 easy payments of $19.99...? Because that'd be better than a Better Marriage Blanket, ya'll!
So, can you guess where we'll be traveling this year in the art room? If you just guessed "Chexico!" like one of my students today, then, I hate to tell ya this, but you are incorrecto. As they say in Chexico.
However, if you guessed, "We are going to Japanese!" like another student of mine, then, yay! You're getting warmer! We'll be studying the art, culture and people of Asia this year. I decided to go with a Japanese theme for my room decor.
That being said, I really had no clue just how I was gonna transform these windows into the Land of the Rising Sun. So I uprooted a stash of Hokusai prints (my inspiration for this post) and slowly started knocking it out.
The kids are always fascinated by the window paintings. My favorite question of all time: "Does the principal know you painted the windows?" My other favorite question comes every year from my custodian buddy who will walk in, stop dead in his tracks and say, "Did you paint that?!" Seriously, every year. When I tell him, "yes!" I always get an "all by yourself?!"
It took me a couple of hours to wash Paris off my windows and take down all of the art work. Here's what my blank canvas, so to speak, looks like. It's a lovely view but it can be very distracting to the kids when we have wacky weather, friends on the playground or sun shining in our eyes and burning out our retinas.
I began working on this during summer for just a few hours a day. On the morning I came back to this, I absolutely hated it. The colors seemed too bright and garish to me. But I've got a rule about art-making that comes courtesy of Tim Gunn: Make it work.
At the end of that day, I was getting a little closer to being finished and a little happier with the result. I figured whatever I didn't like I could stick my giant tree in front of. Cuz that's Tim Gunn's other no-as-popular credo: Big a** trees hide big a** mistakes.
This here's about the time I threw down my brushes, wiped my brow and heard that oh-so-familiar, "Did you paint that?!" And all that was left was adding the tree.
Now this tree came in at least a half dozen parts from the ever-so-lovely Anthropologie store in downtown Franklin, Tennessee. Wasn't that so super awesome of them to donate it to the art room? I thought so. I had some of my favorite buddies help me put the thing together...and we almost did it. However, my skillz with drillz are seriously lacking. The thing ended up with enough screws sticking out of it that it closely resembled a cactus. When I asked the principal if all the kids had their tetanus shots because, if not, we might have a prob with all those rusty bits sticking out, she kinda freaked a little. I'm not gonna lie. I was woe-is-meing to a wonderful parent at our school who then proceeded to volunteer her awesome husband to come and fix Big Bad Tetanus Tree. And all was happy in Chexico. Er, Japanese. Japan! Whatever.
And while I totally love my Japanese set up, I gotta tell you, I'm gonna miss Paris a bit. In fact, I had one or two students today tell me that they'll
miss seeing the hot air balloons and the Eiffel Tower.
The year before we studied Europe, we covered Egypt. At this time, I was only painting the right bank of windows. Before I went all crazy town and painted the entire ding-dong thing.
Regardless, I'm super stoked for the new school year. This is what I wore today as our introduction to the art room and a tiny glimpse into our year in Asia. Although it appears we might have to have a wee chat about cultural acceptance as I heard this from one of my students today:
"Mrs. Stephens," with a look from head to toe, a sigh and an eye roll, "you look ridiculous. As usual."
You ever have one of those annoying sensations that just won't go away? You know, like a little tickle in the small of your back that you can't seem to reach or one of those rouge runaway hairs you feel somewhere on your face but you just can't find. OR, this one's the worst, what about a wedgie that manages to get more friendly than a proctologist?
Oh, oops. Did I just go too far? Or maybe too close to home. I promise I didn't know this post was gonna head south so quickly when I began. My bad.
But I tell you I was going somewhere (other than south) with that there intro. Because this Red Hot Vintage Floral Fabric has been that unreachable itch, that fantom hair, that borderline sexual harassment wedgie all summer long.
Seriously. It started way back in May when I was working on my Star Wars dress. I spied this lovely piece peaking out from my Mount Fujiyama o' Fabric. And it was all, "Hey! Look at me. I'm gorgeous." and I'm like, "Wow, you are pretty sweet. But doncha think calling yourself 'gorgeous' is a little, I don't know, arrogant?" To which the fabric was like, "Look, if you don't think you are up to workin' with somethin' as amazing as me, that's fine. But let's not pretend I wouldn't make a pretty smokin' dress."
And that there sparked the unrelenting urge to find the perfect pattern to marry with this beautiful, albeit a pinch egomaniacal, fabric.
(BTW, have you noticed just how much time I spend talking to inadament objects? Dunno what I'm talking about? What about here, here and, oh man, here. Geez, I need to get out more. Or start taking my meds. That'd probably help.)
After some serious online pattern digging, I found The Perfect Partner for my Red Hot Vintage Floral. I mean, look at that cut, that detail at the neckline, that big-drapey-hankie-thingie. It was like a match made in sewing heaven.
Then I saw it. The name of the maker at the top of the pattern envelope. And I went all Jerry Seinfeld and spit out the words with such venom and hate that I almost scared myself:
"BUTTERICK!"
That's right. The above is an accurate portrayal of my relationship with Butterick. You might recall my ever-so-slight (ha!) frustration with said pattern-maker here. In fact, I do believe I made that scrunched-up, buck-toothed mouse face complete with Wicked Witch of the West hands more than a dozen times whilst attempting to solve the riddle that is a Butterick pattern. And every time it stared right back at me with those dead-Newman-esque eyes and that smirky smile. Oh, how I loathe thee, Butterick.
(BTW, not that it would ever happen anyway, but I'm almost positive that these blatant Butterick-hatred posts are gonna make it so said pattern-making company never contacts me for an endorsement. Whatcha think?)
My frustration over the vaugeness of the directions became so great that I even started fantasizing about tracking down ole Mrs. B and asking her why, just why were her designs so great and her directions so bad. And then I realized that this pattern is super old and that I'd probably have to find Mrs. Butterick Junior if I wanted any sort of contact with my nemesis. And THEN I realized that she'd probably be just as cryptic with directions to her house (because I wanna see this evil face-to-face...which makes me think I shoulda titled this post "Butterick, WHERE'S Yo Mama?") as her maw was with sewing steps: "Oh, you know. Just drive a while and then turn at that stoplight. The one on that corner. It's a white house. On a street. With a yard. You'll find it if you're not an idiot..."
BUTTERICK!
Or, rather: BUTTERICK, JUNIOR!
One particularly difficult evening whilst attempting that big-drapey-hankie-thingie, I decided to google this pattern and see if anyone out there might have a word of advice (or an address, perhaps). And that's when I found her: Professor Pincushion. In this 80 minute tutorial, she walks you through the entire pattern and explains every single step. It was like the heavens opened up and I could hear the angels sing (which, it turns out, they like to sing G'n'R. I KNOW RIGHT, how rad is that?!) That's not even a joke, she's really that awesome. AND she's got these amazing sparkly gold fingernails that she uses to accentuate her explanations which I have likened to Glenda the Good Witch. If she were only a set of nails.
Now I gotta admit, I still had to watch her create that big-drapey-hankie-thingie about two or twenty times before I got it. Which made me think that ole Prof Pincush could really make it big if, after a dozen replays, she could just reach her Glenda nails through the screen and do the hard stuff for you. Seriously. Are you listening, Professor? Because if this idea appears in your next tutorial, Ima gonna expect some royalties.
All moaning and groaning aside, I am pretty excited about this dress. Even with help, this pattern definitely was a challenge that put my severe lack of skills to the test. I still can't believe I managed to pull it off. With a whole lotta thanks to Professor Pincushion. And now that that annoying wedgie is finally released (ewww, sorry! But I had to do some sort of tie in with the beginning of this post. It's called Closure, reader. Deal wit it), I've two other dress-itches that I gotta scratch. Both involve amazing art-teachery fabric that I'm super stoked about. AND speaking of Super Stoked...
Sunny Yellow Monday: So I've been hitting the local hardware/plant place recently (because as a serial flower killer, I find it a sound investment) and I've noticed something: there's a lot of old dudes workin' there. And, it turns out, old dudes are fascinated by retro-dressin' chics. Not in a creepy "I'll-show-you-where-the-tools-are,-honey,-heh-heh" kind of way. More like an "aw-my-mother/girlfriend/wife-used-to-dress-like-you,-heh-heh" (sorry, in my mind, all old dudes end their sentences that way). Which kinda makes me wonder...in twenty years when the "retro" look means wearing a vintage Hooters uniform, will the old dudes be like, "Aw, I remember when classy ladies used to wear thick-a** nylons under their construction-worker-orange shorty shorts, heh-heh" and then off they'll go to satisfy their sudden and unexpected wings craving? dress: vintage Swirl dress, picked up in St. Louis; shoes: Target, last summer; giant flower: just a fake one I glued to a clip after I changed out of my Hooters uniform
Hi! I'll have you know that since last chatting with you, no one has been sliced, diced or tampon'ed. Aw, don't look disappointed. I've got a month and a half left of summer vacation. I'm almost positive I'll be short a limb by the time I return (geez, if that really does happen then this will suddenly become The Most Awkward Post Ever. And we shall never speak of it again.)
So I thought I'd change it up a bit and share with you random photos from my week. I don't have Instagram but I do have A-Day-Or-Two-Later-Cam. Which is even better because I don't have to look at that amazing vintage find of yours or that totally stunning bouquet of flowers your boyfriend gave you (both of which I am sharing here. You're welcome). I've got a couple new DIY's coming up this week so make sure to pop back in and say hello (I've been hearing a lot from you lately and it totally makes my day!). And the next time you're ordering the wings at Hooters, tell 'em Cassie sent ya!
My amazing bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend. Who happens to be in kindergarten. But whateves, he's got good taste in the ladies and the orchids, so I'll take him.
Slice and Dice Tuesday: So if you've not heard the ridiculous story of my foot injury, go here. It's worth the read because it will totally enlighten you on the thinking of the dimwitted. Added bonus: you'll feel better about yourself and your obviously advanced intelligence. dress: made by me; shoes: ugh, Crocs.
Oh, lookie, a sneak peak. I started working on a new painting for the kitchen that I can't wait to finish off, hang up and share with you. It's very paint-by-numbers with out the numbers. Because they confuse me.
Wednesday, Unlimited: You'll never guess in a million years where I got this dress. The Limited. Yes, seriously. When's the last time you went to The Limited? For me, I believe it was back in '91 and I picked up a pair of Madonna-style trousers (you know the ones she paired with her bullet bra back in the Vogue days. I opted out of said bullet bra. Not enough ammo to fill it). My teacher neighbor at school, who always looks adorable, recently shared a photo of herself wearing the cutest dress. When I jokingly (sorta) said I was going to break into her house in the middle of the night and steal that dress (I was giving fair warning, I don't know what the problem was), she quickly informed me that she got the dress at The Limited. I immediately zipped over, found the dress and scooped up this one as well. So, where's the so-good-Ima-gonna-attempt-burglary-and-possible-jail-time dress? I'll show ya next week.
Can you freakin' believe this fabric?! Dude, I am so excited. I've got big plans to create what I imagine will be the most perfect pair of barbeque dresses even though hubs and I don't barbeque nor do we ever get invited to such things. Because vegetarians at barbeques suck. Regardless, I have a feeling these dresses, once created, will be more than welcome. Even if the dress is all, "Yeah, sorry about the person in the dress. She demanded to come," eye roll and sigh.
Hello, Neighbor, Thursday: You know, getting a photo of what you wear everyday is taxing. Especially when you attempt to do it in your front yard and the neighbors, who already think you are nutz, see you. But I do it for you. Now that's dedication, people. sweater: Target, old; dress: vintage, The Hip Zipper
Whatcha see here is my recent estate sale loot. It's become my Friday ritual to grab a buddy and hit as many sales as possible before noon. My favorite score of the day are those little doll dresses and that hand-knitted Anthropologie-esque sweater. Or maybe it's those mini-leather gloves. Possibly that dress with the blue daisies?...I just can't decide.
Free Tree Friday: Before I get to the tree, can we have a moment's chat about this dress? Because I lurve it. I ventured into a thrift store that I don't often frequent and there she was. This sweet little Anthro dress for a mere $10. I got all excited and started chatting with the lady at the rack next to me saying, "look at this dress! Isn't it amazing?!" Unfortunately, my new friend, who only needed to share in my enthusiasm with a high five, decided to become my personal shopper. Which woulda been great had her idea of my taste not involved vintage Jaclyn Smith. She was sweet for tryin', bless her heart (which, in the South, can mean many-a-thing. In this case, it's "get that Kathy Ireland frock away from me!") dress: thrifted, Anthro; belt: Pin Up Girl Clothing; box purse: vintage Enid Collins, ebay; necklace: Target, old
Me standing in front of a tree trunk. Like, literally. A trunk o' tree. Not too long ago, a coupla friends and I volunteered to help create the new window display at Anthropologie. It was so much fun. They served cookies, parfaits and mimosas. We skipped the snacks and instead drank our way through the crafting. Much to their dismay, I'm almost certain. In the midst of all our merry-making, it was asked what would become of the current cherry tree display. We were told that it was going to be given away to a good home. My buddy piped up that I was an art teacher that would love to have the tree...and, a week later, here we are with a mammoth tree in the trunk.
Dude, look at it. It's huge! I'm so excited to put it up...and it's totally getting me inspired and excited for the new school year. But I've still not settled on a theme. So! I'm asking you, whatcha got? Do you have any tree-themed book suggestions (please don't say The Giving Tree as I can't get through that book without crying which makes the kids super uncomfortable)? Art project ideas? Artist suggestions? Thanks in advance, I appreciate you doing my homework for me.
Mary Poppins Outfit details: bag, skirt and ruffly blouse: vintage, thrifted; sweater and boots: Buffalo Exchange; gloves and hat: vintage, gift from a friend; umbrella and red necktie: made by me
Why, hello thar! 'Tis I, wannabe Mary Poppins, practically (im)perfect in every way! Like many schools, mine celebrated Read Across America week with a "dress like a storybook character" day. Because we are currently learning about all things United Kingdom and I'm reading Mary Poppins to my second and fourth graders, deciding who I would dress like was as easy as taking my meds with a spoonful of sugar. Even if I did wanna dress as Sherlock Holmes for a could coupla days. But I didn't think my pipe-puffing would go over well with those party-poopin' principals in my building. So Mary 'twas!
Whilst dressed as Mary, I tried my very best to keep my faux-British accent going as long as I could. We do this little routine in my room where the kids repeat the art directions after me. For kicks we tried out our best Brit accents and the kids loved it. I'm sure that if any actual British folk heard our southern accents attempting to copy theirs, they'd spit up their tea and biscuits.
Fave Mary moment...and how I foresee my classroom evaluation going when my aforementioned non-pipe-smoking principal drops in to witness kids -n- clay:
Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?
Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?
Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
Mary Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr. Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
The thing my outfit was lacking was the famous parrot-headed brolly. You just can't be Mary Poppins without it. But where to find such a thing? I decided that I'd just have to make my own. I sent out an umbrella email request to the fabulous teachers at my school and within minutes I had my mitts on a lovely wooden handled umbrella.
As soon as I got home, I busted out the tin foil and started sculpting the parrots head. I was too impatient to mess with the masking tape portion of 'mache'ing so I hopped straight to the covering-in-sticky-newspaper part. I'd later come to regret this (like so many things in my life) as it prevented me from having a smooth surface for my bird.
After taking what seemed like days to dry, I painted him with acrylic paints and used an image from pinterest as my inspiration. Laziness prevented me from giving him a coat of Modge Podge. Someday, when my laziness takes a holiday, I'll get to that step.
Ack! Giant parrot eye! In some photos, the tip of the parrots beak is white so I painted mine as such. One of my principal ladies said it looked like his nose was chipped. Some people just don't know.
More from the best movie on the planet...Parrot Umbrella: Awk, that's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye? Mary Poppins: No, they didn't. Parrot Umbrella: Look at them! You know, they think more of their father than they do of you! Mary Poppins: That's as it should be. Parrot Umbrella: Well, don't you care? Mary Poppins: Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking. Parrot Umbrella: Is that so? Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary Poppins: you don't fool me a bit! Mary Poppins: Oh, really? Parrot Umbrella:
Yes, really. I know exactly how you feel about these children, and if
you think I'm going to keep my mouth shut any longer, I'll... [she clamps his mouth shut] Mary Poppins: That will be quite enough of that, thank you.
Time for tea! Anyone for a cuppa?
All week, leading up to the arrival of Mary Poppins, my classes enjoyed a spot of tea and biscuits. I brought in some of my vintage table clothes and fancified one small area of my otherwise disastrous art room. I brewed each class a pot of tea (apple, peach and mint) and picked up some shortbread cookies and tea biscuits from the store. One kind UK blogger (thanks, Jerra!) informed me that I needed to serve my tea with "lumps" (sugar cubes) and I'd have to say, the kids liked that the best.
Pinkies out, dearies!
Of course, I just had to bring in my small collections of Mary Poppins records. Thankfully our librarian still had one of these ancient bad boys on hand.
Most of my students had never seen a record player before (shoot, they find the tape player on my CD player fascinating) and I found several of them with their noses right up to the spinning record like this young dude.
In my crazy closet, I had almost the perfect coat and scarf to complete my Poppins look. I thrifted the brown coat a while ago and the scarf is an old number from the Gap.
And, would you believe, the most magical thing happened! This weekend, hubs and I took a short trip to Walt Disney World and Epcot in Orlando. On our final day there, while walking through the Great Britain portion of Epcot, I ran into none other than Mary Poppins herself. Here she is asking me if I keep my students in "spit spot shape". Please don't ask me what's going on with my hair.
An even rarer occurrence: Me, in jeans!
From Mary and I, we wish you a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious week. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Sherlock!
